Torn between the two worlds...

 I can't imagine the time when we were free , free to move, free to travel, free to do a lot of things which we rather took otherwise, then there came a time when you wish for all those simple things to occur to you which you didn't even bother about so much ! (Irony)

Living in a country other than your own, comes with benefits but also have their own set of cons. While we constantly evaluate them , one always finds the grass greener back home ( classic cliché isn't it). Having said all of the above , its been 2 years that I visited my country and almost that many years of having visited my parents and in-laws (because of the travel bans and other regulations)

So every year as soon as the scorching summer arrives in the Middle East it is  the time we splurge to plan  to go home and the summer holidays just aligns with plan. Hence next three months are  well placed back home, where things are easy not because it is my country but the thing that we are not solely responsible for the chores (well largely!)

The arrival back home for holidays is no less than a celebration and we all rejoice mutually. Parents are always overwhelmed  to have us and the kids around and then even we are carefree that they are learning in a different way with their grandparents ( we always believe as humans that we definitely learn with the change in place and circumstance) 

The feeling described above is very well understood by all the women who go to stay at their parent's house every year during holidays but believe me you just have to triple that feeling to know how it feels to be back home from a foreign land, although there are no extremities and Infact an easier life  but still the satisfaction just soars in lieu of our motherland.

As I mentioned its been 2 years that we have been to my parent's place, I feel nostalgic not only by listening to the news that the monsoons has arrived in India or the pictures of the street food we come across on Insta, and every little thing or memory associated with the summer holidays. Its like an yearly ritual that we hook upon and now it just feels empty.

We are into a pandemic and even more serious situation with the onset of the Kids' Summer Holidays starting this weekend (as it's tedious to keep them busy within the four walls), it is also that same time when we travel to India every year with numerous plans and plethora of smiles . Always torn between these two worlds of residence and roots that we overlap a lot many problems entwining them both .

This period in mankind is certainly going down in the history and so will go the agony of not been able to visit home, the deprivation of not being able to spend the fragile and naïve years of kids' childhood with their grandparents. We are not only loosing sanity but a time to connect and care , torn between the two worlds where I want to be and where I should be!

Pic courtesy: Google

The Constant hustle

I want you to take a deep breath before you read this , a broader mind and a clean slate perspective--

I look around and everyone is striving, so hard to make a mark, a unique mark where they feel that they are making  the most of themselves and justifying their talents with utmost might. A kind of persuasion  which never existed in the generation before this one ! The  former generation was full of satisfaction and was at ease...on the contrary this latter one is one with a constant hustle -- to do big , to do different and all the more to do something (at least) !

OK I got the point that you should do something with yourself, I completely align with the idea of exploring and keep doing. Infact we are doing extensively as individuals ,we are in a constant desire to prove something, sometimes our worth and sometimes our point of view. We try so so hard each day to be worthwhile even in the minutest of the ways, so my question here is Why??? Why do we have to prove our worth, what if we don't do nothing at all? What if I fall short? What if I am not productive at all?

As humans we have a tendency to move in herds or to follow a certain norms which others set, so once one of them starts the others follow even the lazy bums are influenced by the major mass of  the striving herd and fall in the trap of " Proving your worth". I sometimes feel that the olden times were better when there was no social media...nor the purchasing power...nor this invisible race where everyone is running at a fast pace even at the cost of tumbling down the hill!

The point I want to make through this blog is that if you have the desire and determination for some thing just do it but if not then " IT IS OK" , it is absolutely fine if you don't want to do anything or nothing interests you or even if you just do a  9 to 5 , or if you just sleep and eat to you heart's content "IT'S FINE!" Slow down, cherish yourself, take it easy, know what you  like, just keep reminding yourself how evolved  are you , draw boundaries , experience life and BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE . For judgements are the part of life and about comparisons  they are nothing but an unwanted tag !

An Early Riser's Saga

A cold dry porch and a silent early morning,

with those birds chirping and the tea leaves boiling,

Every crisp leaflet of that newly printed newspaper,

Giving away the sniff of the world and news to savor,

Those slight pink hues in the sky,

reminding you  that a new day is on a standby,

on the other side is the coffee giving you another chance,

Keeping the mind tight with it's fragrance,

The sun soaked floor bringing in the serenity,

and the glittering rays just pushing you to chase your dream with clarity,

Taking a step forward and embracing today as it stands,

while weaving the plans for tomorrow to make it grand!

Revise, retell, iterate yourself and believe,

Every day is beautiful , everyday just proves how beautiful life can be!

What do you miss the most from the past ?

I wonder what we miss the most,

Is it the freedom to move around or the liberty to socialise,

Is it the ease of availability of things or the way we use to take the things for granted?

Is it the petty problems which we always stretched till it became big  or the bigger problem like we are facing now?

Is it the changing rooms in our favourite fashion outlet,

Or our preferred seat in the movie theatre?

Is it the visit to carnivals, tourist spots,cruise and entertainment parks,

Or the travel plans which never went as per the plan?

Is it the no sweat exit and enteries to malls,

Or the flash mobs in the dancing halls?

Is it  being easily able to meet the parents who live far apart.

Or the school routine which is gone afar?

Is it the high spirits we experienced during a tournament or the festival,

Or is it the non stop deliveries of the amazon parcels which we took very casual?

Is it the colourful nightlife you miss or you miss the crowded beach.

I wonder if we miss what we actually missed or we miss what we never had, but the past always seems prettier than present however bad it could have been!

I wonder what we will do next, how will we really be? How will we react when it all will comes to end  or when we will be out of this lockdown, will we treasure that freedom with safety or will we go haywire like before.

Let's take baby steps in these time towards a safer, better world which is adjusting to the "New Normal"

Archives of a Memoirist

I will keep you in my heart so as my mind,

so I can feel your presence everytime I rewind.

Memories are a keepsake for life and yours will always remain with me,

The day when we said our goodbye and thou shall remain be.

I still wonder why we met if we had to part!

I still wonder why you had to leave without a word, didn't you know I was really hurt?

I was quiet even after the parting storm you created,

looking for the bits and pieces which must have been mistreated!

Picking up clues where did I go wrong, or if it was never meant at all?

or If we were too much in my head than our real life's brawl.

I am sure you have your side too, to say;

But that doesn't stop my side, to not build its way!

Your reasons must have been reasonable ,logical or grey,

I was gullible enough to believe it was only  heart and emotions that had the say!

I wanted to stand by you through thick and thin,

sometimes even if I had to ignore myself or commit a sin.

Probably the extremists like me have a deep prolong affect of everything important,

whether it was your talks,your habits or the fact you were adamant.

Your imprints on my life has left me forever longing,

they will still stay with me even if I inearth all your belongings.

Some memories cannot be taken out of your heart and mind,

they just live there profoundly making their presence once in a while.

The dark corners they stay in have flaps of  an opportunist,

that when you sit with an empty mind it mirrors your lost love in a gist!

pic courtesy:pinterest

The very "First Love"

The things we find most unconventionally and unexpectedly always make home in our heart,

So while I try to forget them all, I live with them everyday.

The deep brown eyes setting on me for the first time,

A warm pat saying that you will always watch my back.

The honest smile which always melted my heart,

Holding hands like we will never part.

The plans of lifetime in a wink of a eye,

That's how the first love feels like!

The reassurance of constantly staying beside,

Pampering me with all the little things I like.

Tackling all my mood swings and tantrum,

I was a tireless person  always with high thrum.

Never ending last 5 minutes before hanging up the phone,

All the cute texts in our newly found language like never before.

Feeling of being safe with you whenever you were around,

My first love never let me land my feet on the ground.

Always walking an extra mile whenever you could only for me,

It felt nothing less than Heaven when you were with me.

You brought the best in me, and you set me free,

Encouraging me to fly to the peak and calming down my spree.

You were more of a feeling than a person to me,

Where I felt the most happy and home as I can be.

A hopeless romantic, and someone who can go to lengths for the one you love,

I will always remember our honest and comforting "First Love".

Pic courtesy: Huffingtonpost.com

A chance of a lifetime!

The audacity of the current world situation is  genuinely alarming and haunts us with loads of information from all sides. So keeping all of them in mind and going through these tedious times, let us take an opportunity to be the best version of ourselves exhibiting humility and kindness towards each other.

No other time than now on earth we would need the humility and generosity as much! It is like the whole nature is been asking you to be someone you always used to think u should be, but never got a chance to be, in your busy  life . So this is your chance to redeem,where the whole universe is conspiring to make us a better human being.

With a full stop to our busy lives we have got a world of exploration in front of us where we could explore our hobbies , our strengths,our family time. Beginning with inculcating good habits  in the young ones, to sitting together for deeper conversations with the older generation. It is an absolutely fantastic time to just reset everything we used to do and redo them in a finer way.

Ok! I know you must be thinking it is easier said than done but the options with us are really limited and this tops the list of the things we must do. I still wonder how our lives has shrunk to a smaller caliber that too on various deeper levels. The unlikeliness of the situation has been daunting us, pushing us to deviate from all our plans of earlier life, doesn't it feels like an earlier life?

A life where so many things were taken for granted, roaming around freely, hanging out with friends even going to a grocery store which is now obstructed .We are not left with anything but ourselves and hence its a best opportunity to change, not only the way we live but the  whole thought process. These times already have showed us that how temporary our world is and however much we think that we are stable and prosperous , we are always on the brink of extinction. The paradox of having been planned for next 10 years straight and fixing goals of far future feels so foolish all of a sudden when we couldn't see all this coming!

Conclusively I firmly believe that humility, kindness, gentleness and compassion goes a long way, and it shall remain till the end with us. Spurts of helps and looking out for each other is something we all should start doing, with rigorous times coming ahead. Do your bit by calling an old friend and catching up from where you left, posting positive stuff online, developing interests and hobbies, checking up on your neighbours , participating and promoting creativity even while on video calls with family,  involve in deeper conversations with your parents and offsprings, it is a golden time to bond with humanity and lets do bit by bit by eliminating the unfavourable elements and spread positivity in these fragile times.

Pic courtesy : quotefancy.com