Being an Ordinary parent in these Extraordinary times

Being a mother of two boys ,aged 5 and 8 , I was enthralled and baffled upon hearing this pandemic outbreak. It started in December in China and since then almost all countries are battling with it now, as the cases arrived here in our country,the schools got closed in the third week of February hoping to open April and now extended till October . Earlier hearing this news as a parent I was intimidated and then I understood the fragility of it!

Well, as parents also we were not ready to handle such a preposterous event, suddenly we are expected to fit into a lot of roles along with being a parent like a teacher, friend,coach etc . Not only pondering over the academic shortcomings but also of the extra circular activities which the kids are now devoid of! I felt an urge of devising a plan to keep them updated with their academic level as well as keeping them carefree and loved in this difficult times.

Hence It drains my energy everyday thinking of how else can I make a day better and fruitful for these kids.Limiting screen timings, finding books to read for them, researching on a new craft, keeping up with a bit of academics too !But that's just one part of the play and I have another parts too to play as well, where I have to manage my baking venture, home and mountain of other daily tasks and responsibilities.I am sure a lot of the Moms must be feeling the same as me that we are depicting  Noah  from the Noah's ark --stocking up, keeping calm and handling the kids keeping them indoors.

First of all take it easy, breathe and don't be so hard on yourself as a parent, you have to provide all of it but it is really not humanly possible.Therefore stop being guilty of what you are not able to provide,  but yes educate them about the problem and tell them that they are safe and loved.Take one step at a time to keep them engaged , as we are bound to more and more social distancing .Plan one activity a day and bifurcate it into series of  activities on the same topic throughout the day.

Kids take up lot of our energy and generally its hard to keep them bounded to a thing for a long time. But, well if you give a little structure to their day and they will be sorted and happier. I am huge fan of "routines" and adhere to them strictly enough.Hence I started with making a routine for them where we do similar things at similar time every day whether it be creative time..bed time..reading time..learning time, and their beloved screen time. Almost a month now that the school closed we are still sticking to routines and its helping me to be sane for sure.

Despite being a referee to my kids' fights everyday I still wonder how they get so much energy to fight about every petty thing, and I realized that imagine if that energy is not being able to invest in right directions! These are hard times but we can learn many things and make them learn it too. There are a many online platforms available to keep them engaged. Of all, its the best time to introspect and teach them the best, on life and being a better human being,  also about their environmental responsibilities.

We don't know how long and how far we will be into it,as these staggering times are difficult and much challenging to deal with kids . These are out testing times and also of building up our pile of patience to handle everything around.

I know we have too much on our plates as a person, but let that not vent out out and reflect on kids, instead let this free time for kids be a creative and educative one, with lessons they learn from us each day and what we choose to make them do.

Happy Parenting! 

Good old days

After looking at our parents I feel that their generation has lived the best of all the times, neither they were technology dependent nor were full of such demanding aspirations. They have the best of both the eras although they have very well accepted the new way of life still they firmly follow their older selves. Nothing can beat the hard work and discipline which our Fathers have and we are no where near to our Mothers' dedication,devotion and sacrifices. The new generation Moms although are hi-tech with all the resources which were hardly available before, crib about their style of life and how much they have to do in how less of a time.They managed so well with less than half of the resources and double the satisfaction we have. They used to sleep peacefully, cook their heart out, listen deeply and devoted the whole time in raising the kids.
They had a comparatively toned down life too, less of TV, internet and WIFI ,although they were missing out on a lot of things we do nowadays but it hardly mattered that time because there was no thing like that before (you only miss a thing after you get introduced to it)life seemed so calm and sorted out. There was no pressure of replying a blue ticked message on what's app; or liking a photo ;or wishing a birthday; or tweeting/ instagramming. You had a better way to escape the unwanted things without being caught red handed about avoiding the same.
There were no cell phones and believe me people existed, travelled even delivered babies without being informed over the mobile phone. Telegrams, postcards , handwritten letter always kept people on toes waiting for the postman to arrive, it must have been enticing to be not in touch , people knew the real meaning of the word missing and not like today when we are so available that we are hardly taken seriously by anyone.
The work for females was  only  profounded  to family and household, I am glad we are brought up in that way, I cannot imagine my Mom gone away when I came back from school! They were only expected to sew, cook, look after the house errands and kids, though they gave the whole lot of energies to build our foundations, but after becoming a Mom myself I have realized what a mammoth responsibility it is! To do even that much, to look after the house and the kids with all the facilities take up my whole day I don't know how did my Mom do so well with no support at all.
Money was important I feel but not was a primary motive, like today's world where everyone is running in an invisible, unending race to achieve something that is so material that it takes a toll on the relationships as well as health. For them the relationships were foremost  with an added advantage of a close knitted families to lean on for an extra care and support. The festivals were joyous,pompous and more meaningful not like today's where half are celebrated half heartedly and the other half are forgotten admist of all the lingering...I don't know how much we can pass on to our kids, the rituals,the reason to celebrate a particular occassion.
Also i realised that at their time the health issues were not as common as there are now like every second person has some or the other problem, they led a healthier lives with early to bed and early to rise unlike our late nights' schedule.
Migration towards the big cities have increased manifolds leaving the parents alone on their own..no one can help this scenario but yes it is difficult for us as well as them, our parents who are left behind feeling lonely..and we getting nuclear and distant day by day ...hope we take a u turn sometime soon, ofcourse not leaving the resources we have now towards a better quality and calmer version of our lives passing on a rich cultural values to the coming generation.

Mom's Missing report : Tv Remote

The Motherhood this time has been quite an adventure as if i am playing all the  treasure hunts at one time  of all the 30 years combined together..Being a MBA in Retail (the degree has been depreciated though) a thought got clicked....why not connecting Motherhood with RFID technology...LOL
For all those who are thinking what this RFID tag means , they are radio frequency identification tags which with the help of electromagnetic field can be identified or tracked ! So if i tag few of my important things ,atleast some of my treasure hunts will subside! 
You must be thinking that I am really going bonkers...yes motherhood has taken a toll on me but i am completely sane (atleast as of now ;)) Ok so here is the deal...My younger kid is an active toddler...sometimes hyper too. So he just keeps anything anywhere...anywhere includes the garbage bag too!! Hence i have surrendered with all my strength in finding things every now and then..
The latest item (one of the items)which has been missing is my TV remote (myTV is definitely jinxed,it just got repaired last to last week). There is no nook and corner in my house which is left to be searched, its like cleaning up the house for Diwali! But all efforts futile and its still missing...i wish i was gifted with RFID tags on my baby shower ! The tags would have secured my Remote and helped to me track it..
Remote is the latest as i said my mini router, my phone , his sipper, all his elder brother's stationery etc has all been gone through with this hide and seek..
How i wish they link the RFID with Motherhood as you are the most forgetful and restless of all times..and believe me with so much happening around with my hands full i can barely remember  where was it last seen and neither do I have a clue where it could be...
I wish he starts speaking early to tell me the wherabouts of a lot of my possessions till then i am going to just keep my fingers cross and keep guessing where all my stuff can be...

Handling the Mom's factor

While writing this I am somehow managing to play Snakes and Ladders with my 4.5 year old as well as with my 1 year who is pulling my hair with all the force he could...I decided to write on being a multitasking mother.. Sometimes I wish I had atleast 6 flexible hands instead of 2 fixed ones to handle the pressure called for, in that case I could write with my two hands and the other two can cook and the rest 2 could take the tantrums of these kids..but lesser that we know what we are capable of suddenly comes in the light with Parenting.
Okay I am a stay at home Mom.. and I chose it, taking care of my kids and subsiding my career, don't be judgmental about it as I can do more things of my interest like blogging, baking, reading and ofcourse the daily chores comes along..as a kid my Mom never thought that I would be a good indian wife because I really sucked at cooking, I hated all clothes related chores and on top of that i was in hostel for fairly more amount of time than at my home. But with time my interest flaired and thanks to motherhood to fill in the gaps.. Then and now I came a long way learning to handle so much in so less.
There are so many days when the day seems so long and tough ,then there are other days when the hugs and kisses make the day shorter...having 2 boys under one roof with one of them being a naughty toddler I sometimes ran out of ideas to make them happy as well as to keep my interests intact with the energy draining out.
I am adviced a lot of times to hire Nannys. ..cooks...full time maid..but somehow I fail to keep up with the idea.Being SAHM is difficult and it really takes everything out of you starting from your day's piece of mind to your night's sound sleep! Frankly you just lose it everyday for a while but the rest of the time, just makes up for it😊
All the stay at home Mom's don't loose hope..you are doing the best 24*7 job in the world but in the midst don't forget yourself and keep following your passion...whether it is tiniest of anything...it will soon become a place of vent out and a change!A place u will feel rejuvenated and happy about.

Parenting Archetype

The many manifestation we infuse in our parenting style , we still fall short to achieve the impeccable one!
Of all the parenting styles we have been seeing through the years.We as young and new parents pick up an al-a-carte of the parenting,learning largely from our own parents and choosing up the best bits from our neighbourhood,discarding the dont's and inculcating the do's to achieve a favourable parenting package.Its a mammoth task ,and discretionary too! Some are too particular and the others are desultory but still everyone is judgemental about it.
But the fact remains that you learn everyday in everyway either from your own mistakes or observing the others. Then you realise there is nothing called an 'Archetype' in parenting. Its a lifestyle you opt atleast till the 20 year project ends!One of the yogic leaders  recently said that having kids is a 20 yr project, thats true too but as Indians we just keep pulling the strings until we can,because we are scared to let go off.
As a helicopter mom hovering over the kids for almost everything starting from implanting a morning ritual in kids to making them thanking God in the night before they sleep, all this to shape them up to make them what we are not today but could have been!
Parenting is indeed tricky and it grows with the stages...with a preschooler and baby-cum-toddler ,i have realised that only one way is not "the" way...you have to hit and miss and again hit and miss and finally you catch up with the formula.
Parenting is a practice...which makes you better with time like a wine,sometimes you have to deal with it even when you have no energy  to think about it, and sometimes it just flows with the criterion of being yourself.
An archetype is difficult to construct as you are restrained with people around to  judge...the world around whose moving so fast...the technology around which is so demanding ....a nuclear household which entirely depends on you...a career which has been waiting for a while getting distant everytime you look at it...smart kids with an atomic absorption rate..grandparents( a great source of learning )and grandchildren so far apart that only meet once or twice a year.Basically the 2 kiddos are only on disposal of their Mom and Dad for the wisdom of life..which is unfair on the parenting part!
And by the way for the parenting package i have chosen is so far so good with the way i have learnt to relax a bit, imbibe a bit..take it slowly one bit at a time...enjoy your young motherhood and try to shape them the best you can without setting the archetype...just let them follow their heart, urge them to be grounded , imbue them with humbleness and never let them forget their roots...all the best guys and make your own archetype...Happy parenting!

Being Mum of 2 boys

If given a chance of another life would you choose the same life like this?? I'll say no not at all, except some reservations and particularity i am ready to keep it all!
To sail with 2 kids on a boat even the quietest of the sea becomes the roughest of all and with both of them being boys adds the cherry on the cake. There is  a sudden total paradigm shift in your moods as well as your lifestyle with 2 of them by your side.
The sun rises up earlier and sets so late that a 6 hours sleep is a rare phenomenon. You have to get up when they get up and take power cat naps in between to compensate the night sleep. You cannot eat lunch later than 12 because the younger one   has to catch up with his  infant sleep...You can't dine out later than 7 in the night because the elder one has to catch up the sleep for to reach school on time tommorow.
Staying a country where summers reach a mark of 55 degrees and winter see a temperature as minimum of 2 degrees,technically you are stuck at home major time of the year..winters are no longer my favourite because with winters comes a tension of the kids falling sick and even if one of them falls sick, then it goes into the loop with each one of them. Summers are equally harsh with nothing outdoor and passing the time of the kiddos at home.
Its been a while i have slept a continous 6 hours sleep...enjoyed even a single meal...watched a movie in theatre...gone for shopping alone without a baggage...out on lunch date with friends...gone for holidays and even my favourite hobby of craft and writing has taken a back seat ,still i am glad about it at the end of the day thinking that how the chaos of this day has gotten  over,i am learning everyday equipping my self with the art of feeding solids (whether it be singing,playing,cruising)to my one  year old at the same time handling the tantrums and disciplining my 4 year old .
So much on my list with this beginning of a new year from loosing the baby belly,meditation , weaning, potty training and so on  lets see how far we reach, in this new year...for now i am just looking forward to being a  better Mommy..and there is absolutely nothing in the world i wanna trade for this mommy life!

The saga of Stay at home mommy (SAHM)

Of all the things i have done so far in the last 3 decades being SAHM (stay at home mommy) is the most toughest one (you know like round the clock mommy kinds)
I am sleepy..crancky...sometimes starved and my clothes are full of drool n smell like baby food. Inspite of the fact that i hate the time is flying and my both  boys will soon be grownups , i loose it sometimes..on verge of my breaking  point  i remind myself not raise my voice (allthough i do shout afterthat) but that happens when your house becomes like the one on doomsday  with toys, balls,cars and miniature superheroes lying scattered in the house in a way that daily life becomes a treasure hunt!
So basically everyday life teaches you so much with these kiddos around , specially with two and no househelp except cleaning(as if it stays that clean by the end of the day)..we are expats here and since i don't have a license i can hardly take the kids outside (although the weather outside is equally responsible for not steeping out) that means that we are looking at the same 4 walls 5 days a week which can be be really tiring and absolutely boring.
Sticking both my boys together takes my sanity and a whole day of blabbering no's and spilling instructions from my bag of rules and the in between good time while the brotherly love overflows i borrow my time for writing,thanks to the technology these days i really can't figure out yet that how the SAHM survived before smartphones and internet.
The days approaching are looking all the more difficult to me as my 10 month old is already walking pulling out drawers..utensils...spilling water..throwing balls..pulling my hair (literally too )its going to be a hrll of a task.Parenting teaches you so much every single day with every single child from reframing rules rephrasing dialogues making them more mannered or associating them with fear to do a certain thing (believe me thats the only way you can make them do certaim things),rescheduling your lunches..shopping..writing ...cooking (infact peeing too at times),rearranging the room...the lower shelves ,the last drawers,the toy boxes and every nitty gritty of your life.
Making deeper friendship bonds is equally difficult ,although i am a people's person still it seems impossible with this phase of life,with the husband travelling most of the time only coffee n my phone  are left as my main rescuer in the given condition.
Hope the coming days keep me calm and sorted so i can ingest my boys with humblesness and creativity..i do miss my independence and sanity but that doesn't takes away from me the fact that how much i love spending time with my boys and...being a round the clock MOM!

Of crazy parenting days

Sitting in my living room besides my favourite window with a cup of coffee and a dusty day (part of being in a middle east country)not much minutes have passed since i put down my infant to sleep and sent the elder one to school..its the best time to buy for myself..it is a golden period  of silence and melancholy, apparently the only time when my brain works!
Pondering about how the life's trending...how crazy we have become and what mad house are we raising...questioning my own parenting style...n anxious about the time which is flying so fast...so much to teach and imbibe...n they are growing too fast.
So much to do with the kids that a day seems less although the moms of our generation no longer are dedicated, devoted and sacrificing like the previous generation moms. Icing on cake is the multiple gadgetry available to keep us all the more restless n pointblank thus giving a setback to the parenting style. I think thats why the babies also are packed in the womb with the same swiping and touch style,they respond so quickly. Anyways the constant question of being a good parent or coping up with the round of advices all over the place is tedious.
I have come across a lot of parenting articles where they give you the whole gyan of how to do and what not to do,when i was having my first one i was swearing by each one of those but now with my second one i have reached to a point where i want keep it really simple and instinctive..
Their are many new parents like us out there who feel miserable not being able to follow the so called ways...to soothe...to put them to bed...to make them burp...to potty train...to wean off and what not. So try this out next time you feel miserable...be simple and go by your instincts. You know your baby the best from day one...not all babies are same and the standardization is troubling!
Wean when you feel assured by the outside nutrition not when people tell you to,potty train when the child is ready not when you are pressurised to teach...let them take the bottle till they dont learn to sip..just go with the flow and let the baby be a baby!
Your baby tells you everything its just how do you decipher the indication.Keep a schedule,keep them close to your taste (food),keep them warm,trust your instincts and when in doubts choose your children rest everything can be chosen  later. Stay in tune with those articles too but don't swear by them...don't forget its not  science just the affection keeps it good and going.

Maa..

Maa tere bina kuch nahi achcha lagta yaha..
Na tere haathon ke garam fulke hai na aanchal ki thandi chaaon hai yaha..
Na teri daant ki bouchaar hai na hi pyaar bhari baahein hai yaha..
Yaad aatein hai woh bachpan ke din jab beparwah tha mera jahan
Na thi koi chinta..na hi koi bandish kyunki tum thi na maa waha...
Jo tumne di woh har ek seekh ka matlab aaj hai samajh aaya yaha..
Woh school se aaker bag phekna...woh har ek baat per tumse behas karna...woh naatak jo sirf tum hi jhel paati thi maa..
Bachpan se meri har choti cheez ko tumne hai sanjhoya... Chahe rona ho, chaahe zidd puri karani ho..chahe daddy ko manana ho...tum hi thi meri jaadu ki chadi waha..
Jab khud maa bana to jana ki kitna sangarsh kara hai har pal tumne maa...woh har ek raat jo tum ho jagi aur jo har woh din jab meine tumhe sataya par tumne kuch na kahaa..
Aaj bhi jab bhi hota hai kuch naya banana..ya hota hai dil ka bhoj utaarana...ya hoti hai koi salah ki zarurat, tum hi dikhai deti ho har jagaah..
Tumse hi hoti hai har ek ichcha puri aaj bhi...aur tum hi ho prerna meri zindagi ki..Kitna bhi shukriya karu tumhe woh kam hai...tumse achcha koi nahi aur mujhe garv hai ki tum ho MERI MAA...

Stop the Frantic Overdoing

Do you overdo things?

Stop...its 'the'word I want to learn. Not a single days go by when I don't push my limit and when I m not overdoing things. I want to stop and that to soon the things are going out of my hands and this overdoing is driving me crazy (crazier than I thought)
Having a partial OCD specially of cleanliness and arrangement of things with my 2 kids is like the cherry on the top so to say stop to myself in certain situations is dreadful therefore the overdoing follows! Phew!

So after summing up the conclusions of all my experiences of out and out overdoings I have made my list of stops (hope some of them helps you too)
1. Stop saying yes when you really don't want to- follow your mood and instinct
2. Stop agreeing to a particular thing if it is not on your priority list-You don't have to agree to everything and anything.
3. Stop pushing your limits and testing your body's endurance- relax
4.  Stop reviewing your decisions-They are perfect according to the time and situation you take them in
5. Stop thinking about the past and worrying about the future.
6. Stop pleasing the one who is not even close to important in your life-suit your convenience , everyone does that only
7. Stop over cleaning-just leave it noone is coming to assess and award you for the spic n span home.
8. Stop over friendliness- oh boy it just gives pain to your ownself because for the other person you just exist as an aquantaince.
9. Stop being your best-it just ruins the moment all the more! Be carefree and cool.
10. Stop entertaining nonsense- in any form whether talks, parties or pokes , you can't please everyone.
11. Stop being a perfectionist , however much you try you can't be (specially me with 2 kids)
12. Stop judging your self from the eyes of others - they themselves are doing the same for themselves.
13. Stop being guilty - whether about a day which din't go as planned, the mood swings, not being a good parent, not been able to concentrate or the feeling of being lost, not being able to workout...its just a phase and it happens with everyone.

Sometimes the art of saying no works but you have to master it to practice it . I am an amateur at this art, hence overdoing comes along, This overdoing hinders the personal growth, nature, relationships and unfortunately memories too.Having said that I really will try to inculcate  the above  to relax myself and make the most of my life making memories and having real fun😊.

The hatrick year...my son is 3 today!

Years are flying and u are getting older by the day...it started with pampers , bottles and booties and reached to "I want to do it on my own" statement! You have grown so much that u hardly fit my arms...
Your every act has its own charm...whether it is opening fridge for taking out your favourite yogurt...or helping me with stacking the groceries...the way u dance and sing your heart out....your inclination to music....your love for reading books...your saying "mumma don't cry I love u" ....watching the ugliest of the shows on tv with me...wearing cap, goggles to any kind of outing (whether party or beach...lol), the way u are particular to wear a specific tshirt...or your deep affection to your night suits...the way u blabber hindi perfectly nowadays....and trick n woe me to download apps for your ipad...
You have truly engrossed my life and have given it a meaning, its just been three years and I dont remember any other reason for being that much happy earlier...
With you the sun is more brighter, moon is much calmer, stars are more shiner, life is much better, you complete us fully...sweetheart ! Continue with building up your charisma and bubble our lives like this till eternity.

Mommy's heart out!

I wanted it. But when it came to me I realised what was i missing out or how much I desired of having it. The twinkling eyes,mushy nose,wrinkled skin and tiny hands; never knew that a baby brings that much of joy to your heart, its like purification of your soul and adding a meaning to your living.
They say of all the relations u have in this earthly dimension , you have an extra 9 month relationship with your mother. This sounded a little overrated before the self experience but  whoaa the experience of 9 months were definately worth it after seeing him for the first time.
The celebration starts with a baby's birth and is continued  every single day is a new day filled with different musings and explorations. The way the sun radiates and distributes energy and light everyday is the same with my sunshine my baby boy(although a toddler now).
Today on mothers day, nearing the third year of motherhood I am so charmed to be called as "Mumma" by my little one. A hug from him woes away the sorrows, a smile from him woes away all the anger. The innumerable questions he asks, the rhymes he sings, the useless demands he makes, the way he is particular for which clothes to wear, and all the naatak he does are so identical to being alive now.
As mothers we have got this opportunity to raise ourselves in form of our child, to live our childhood yet again! Its the most difficult yet most amazing and lovable task of all times. I want to dedicate this post to my son, for giving me an opportunity to be a mother and loving me unconditionally day in and out. If these kids would not have been around the word Mother would loose its sound. Happy mother' s day...