An Early Riser's Saga

A cold dry porch and a silent early morning,

with those birds chirping and the tea leaves boiling,

Every crisp leaflet of that newly printed newspaper,

Giving away the sniff of the world and news to savor,

Those slight pink hues in the sky,

reminding you  that a new day is on a standby,

on the other side is the coffee giving you another chance,

Keeping the mind tight with it's fragrance,

The sun soaked floor bringing in the serenity,

and the glittering rays just pushing you to chase your dream with clarity,

Taking a step forward and embracing today as it stands,

while weaving the plans for tomorrow to make it grand!

Revise, retell, iterate yourself and believe,

Every day is beautiful , everyday just proves how beautiful life can be!

Nothing like before

Unanticipatedly the whole  formula of  living changed swiftly! Things which were important are somehow negligible and the things which were not given much importance are now a luxury.Imagine how much we took people, things and surroundings for granted, until all this happened we were still grasped in the cliched petty issues whether about relationship,work or certain friendship. 

Now all the jealousy, competition,branded shopping, travel flaunt is put to a full stop, just to save ourselves! So basically we were living a materialistic life until the outbreak and one fine day the switch got reversed  confining us to our home to save lives! This proves that afterall we started running this race for supporting our daily life only and somehow  got jumbled up with all the flashes and frills while running and forgot the basic goal of why we were running so fast? To introspect then and now everything looks so tiny and meaningless.

 The selfies with friends have become a a mere screenshots of numerous video calls, the instagram has become more of a stage to showcase your hobbies instead of being a market place. Virtual travel trips are a new thing, schools and students are struggling with online classes. Netflix has become a trend and a way to kill the boredom. Restaurants are a far fetched thing and cooking at home and putting up the videos are the "in" things.  News channels have no other topic than the current situation, and curfew is the new way of our daily routines. Quarantine and lockdown are the most used words on the internet. Hugs and kisses are being missed , coffee shops are now treasured the most after toilet paper (lol) malls and movie theatres are not even in the list of "places to be" and everything is zeroed down to existence and storage of daily necessities ( how ironic!)

Still missing the larger picture of what perilous situation we are dealing with; Everyone is trying hard, really hard to be as they were before but it will take time to settle with everyone that world is never going to be the same..and gradually we will learn to live in a new found way with sources available on our disposals.

Pic courtesy @thinkingmindspage

Of intensity and vulnerability

Some or the other time in our life we come across  people who are like the right fit to "your"  definition of a perfect person , suddenly your whole life changes, the routine becomes peppier and life becomes more peaceful; when in the back of your mind you know is that person is there along your side.

Enhancing it further the other person also makes you believe that they feel the same intensity and chemistry to hang around with  you. Its certainly funny that you believe that "this is it" and your search for that perfect person is stopped, you open your arms heart and mind to welcome this new arrival of emotions and surge into the idea of this deep relation where your mind thinks likewise and your idea of life aligns but alas! Life is not as rosy as we think about it. Y

our words make you vulnerable and makes it easy for that person to either leave or tone down. I don't know how that happens that a fraction of second can fade away all memories!

As a younger person in my life I was a dreamer someone who was rebellious and filmy at the same time, I was under an illusion of perfect friendships and other relationships I was always sure that someone will come always to pamper and rescue me in the end as I was mostly the center of attention thanks to the set of multiskills I have! But I forgot that all that attention and appreciations are generally  short lived and does not survive for the lengths of time, and that I realized a bit later.

Gradually I started hating the fact that why am I so intense and why only does it affects me only so badly . I always looked for constant people and not erratic because my system doesn't accepts that. I have always been a slave of overthinking and mostly that lands me in vain, then later I thought and thought and came to a conclusion that----Sometimes we invest so much of ourselves in someone else that its hard to retrieve  its like your software just crashes in the system and you are dumbfound to act, therefore its better to invest in your own self.

As my phoenix was burning to ashes I thrived and started resurrecting myself , started loving my intensity and my depth of thoughts and all of a sudden I felt liberated, as it was only me I was worried about and only my convenience I wanted to cater to. The pleasing and not being able to say no was reformed to -- suiting my convenience and saying NO as and when I could do things without stretching myself. 

Current State: I am happy. liberated. Intense. Unconventional. Maverick. full of Self love . someone with no expectations

As human beings we are somehow programmed to work around a goal whether long term or short term. There are some people who just search for it all their lives and then there are some who find it easy enough. I urge you to find a goal and work around it, you will love your energy flowing in those directions rather than people and certain relationships... a goal always keeps you grounded and deep rooted to what you are and where you want to go. Pursue a goal and work hard if you also are an intense like me...life is harder for people like us.... but we in our heart are the happiest because we don't give any less than 100 percent to anything we do.