Being an Ordinary parent in these Extraordinary times

Being a mother of two boys ,aged 5 and 8 , I was enthralled and baffled upon hearing this pandemic outbreak. It started in December in China and since then almost all countries are battling with it now, as the cases arrived here in our country,the schools got closed in the third week of February hoping to open April and now extended till October . Earlier hearing this news as a parent I was intimidated and then I understood the fragility of it!

Well, as parents also we were not ready to handle such a preposterous event, suddenly we are expected to fit into a lot of roles along with being a parent like a teacher, friend,coach etc . Not only pondering over the academic shortcomings but also of the extra circular activities which the kids are now devoid of! I felt an urge of devising a plan to keep them updated with their academic level as well as keeping them carefree and loved in this difficult times.

Hence It drains my energy everyday thinking of how else can I make a day better and fruitful for these kids.Limiting screen timings, finding books to read for them, researching on a new craft, keeping up with a bit of academics too !But that's just one part of the play and I have another parts too to play as well, where I have to manage my baking venture, home and mountain of other daily tasks and responsibilities.I am sure a lot of the Moms must be feeling the same as me that we are depicting  Noah  from the Noah's ark --stocking up, keeping calm and handling the kids keeping them indoors.

First of all take it easy, breathe and don't be so hard on yourself as a parent, you have to provide all of it but it is really not humanly possible.Therefore stop being guilty of what you are not able to provide,  but yes educate them about the problem and tell them that they are safe and loved.Take one step at a time to keep them engaged , as we are bound to more and more social distancing .Plan one activity a day and bifurcate it into series of  activities on the same topic throughout the day.

Kids take up lot of our energy and generally its hard to keep them bounded to a thing for a long time. But, well if you give a little structure to their day and they will be sorted and happier. I am huge fan of "routines" and adhere to them strictly enough.Hence I started with making a routine for them where we do similar things at similar time every day whether it be creative time..bed time..reading time..learning time, and their beloved screen time. Almost a month now that the school closed we are still sticking to routines and its helping me to be sane for sure.

Despite being a referee to my kids' fights everyday I still wonder how they get so much energy to fight about every petty thing, and I realized that imagine if that energy is not being able to invest in right directions! These are hard times but we can learn many things and make them learn it too. There are a many online platforms available to keep them engaged. Of all, its the best time to introspect and teach them the best, on life and being a better human being,  also about their environmental responsibilities.

We don't know how long and how far we will be into it,as these staggering times are difficult and much challenging to deal with kids . These are out testing times and also of building up our pile of patience to handle everything around.

I know we have too much on our plates as a person, but let that not vent out out and reflect on kids, instead let this free time for kids be a creative and educative one, with lessons they learn from us each day and what we choose to make them do.

Happy Parenting! 

Parenting - The second time

When my first one was born i was on the cloud 9 you know that excitement to become the parents for the very first time, you want be the perfect with all the firsts .Starting from feeding them till umpteen number of hours, reading story books,making them brush twice,teaching them all the GK they can like shapes ..numbers..letters,getting them all kind of toys,loading them with the newest fashion, you know like you want to be a perfect parent.

Then after you complete all the cliched cycles of potty training, breastfeeding, terrible twos ,teething and cleaning all the pukes and poops in between as you come out of the first time mommy depression ,thats when you think that the your first born needs a company and then you get into this vicious circle of parenting the second time.. and believe me there lies a trap!

My second one came when my first one  was 3.3 years old, and it was damn tough for me...although many people do in a much lesser difference than this but God only knows how they manage... so now i had two little boy bunches with my handsful i set on a brigade called motherhood..by the way the word 'Mother' has an army on its own...where somehow you get super powers of Hindu Goddesses like spinning on your feet around the kids with 2 hands working like 10 extended hands in one single day around varied tasks..

When my second one arrived we were on cloud 9 again....it felt complete and enticing .First few months were like a honeymoon ...i  loved to cuddle and snuggle the baby...because i knew that the time will fly and he will outgrow my lap...as the time went i  learnt so much ; my second one is  a much difficult child...he would regress to sleep..eat and pacify. But that stage also passed on with a hope of a better tommorow..

Then came a time when my first one started his preschool and the younger one started walking it was a chaos with whom to handle first and then you learn the art of attending them on single turn basis...but come on my elder one was just 4 how could i expect him to be that understanding but he did...he somehow got matured by the face of the situations...

As the time went my elder one was 5 and the younger one was 1.5 there were different hardships but we had fun as a team! My younger one was teething...trying to talk...trying to eat  on his own while my elder one was learning languages (read and write) at school..i could somehow manage to catch up with my nap and other interests when my younger one used to sleep ( which was hardly an hour with a gap of every 10 min in between to put him to sleep all over again) and i learnt how to manage ...my time and theirs...believe me even 24 hours seem less to me even now..
So today my elder one is 6 and the younger one  is 2.9 and the challenges have multiplied now i know what it is to be a mother of two boys...fighting for the same toy , tv remote (switching between baby tv and Nickelodeon) and numerous other things ...where you cant choose side and the gyan of sharing doesn't suffice...but i get more time of my own as the younger one goes to a play school but he still keeps me on toes..his cuddles are amazing, the way he just circles around me the whole day is flattering and annoying at the same time...

There are days of disagreement, scolding, frustration,wearout but when they both are not around even for 2 hours i miss them alot..they are more of my buddies than my boys..everyday i am learning patience, compassion ,being a listener,a referee ,a pacifier and still holding my senses together at the end of the day..watching them sleep brings a smile on my face with a full day's flashback.

But i must confess that the second time parenting is much of a cheating than the first one..the efforts are definitely less..the dedication is reduced because you have two to look forward too ... but the younger siblings still are always smarter,they learn quicker and  know their way out and the irony is you know it as a parent but still you don't do much about it..you just pass it on...being a more stronger ,smarter parent.