Torn between the two worlds...

 I can't imagine the time when we were free , free to move, free to travel, free to do a lot of things which we rather took otherwise, then there came a time when you wish for all those simple things to occur to you which you didn't even bother about so much ! (Irony)

Living in a country other than your own, comes with benefits but also have their own set of cons. While we constantly evaluate them , one always finds the grass greener back home ( classic cliché isn't it). Having said all of the above , its been 2 years that I visited my country and almost that many years of having visited my parents and in-laws (because of the travel bans and other regulations)

So every year as soon as the scorching summer arrives in the Middle East it is  the time we splurge to plan  to go home and the summer holidays just aligns with plan. Hence next three months are  well placed back home, where things are easy not because it is my country but the thing that we are not solely responsible for the chores (well largely!)

The arrival back home for holidays is no less than a celebration and we all rejoice mutually. Parents are always overwhelmed  to have us and the kids around and then even we are carefree that they are learning in a different way with their grandparents ( we always believe as humans that we definitely learn with the change in place and circumstance) 

The feeling described above is very well understood by all the women who go to stay at their parent's house every year during holidays but believe me you just have to triple that feeling to know how it feels to be back home from a foreign land, although there are no extremities and Infact an easier life  but still the satisfaction just soars in lieu of our motherland.

As I mentioned its been 2 years that we have been to my parent's place, I feel nostalgic not only by listening to the news that the monsoons has arrived in India or the pictures of the street food we come across on Insta, and every little thing or memory associated with the summer holidays. Its like an yearly ritual that we hook upon and now it just feels empty.

We are into a pandemic and even more serious situation with the onset of the Kids' Summer Holidays starting this weekend (as it's tedious to keep them busy within the four walls), it is also that same time when we travel to India every year with numerous plans and plethora of smiles . Always torn between these two worlds of residence and roots that we overlap a lot many problems entwining them both .

This period in mankind is certainly going down in the history and so will go the agony of not been able to visit home, the deprivation of not being able to spend the fragile and naïve years of kids' childhood with their grandparents. We are not only loosing sanity but a time to connect and care , torn between the two worlds where I want to be and where I should be!

Pic courtesy: Google

The Constant hustle

I want you to take a deep breath before you read this , a broader mind and a clean slate perspective--

I look around and everyone is striving, so hard to make a mark, a unique mark where they feel that they are making  the most of themselves and justifying their talents with utmost might. A kind of persuasion  which never existed in the generation before this one ! The  former generation was full of satisfaction and was at ease...on the contrary this latter one is one with a constant hustle -- to do big , to do different and all the more to do something (at least) !

OK I got the point that you should do something with yourself, I completely align with the idea of exploring and keep doing. Infact we are doing extensively as individuals ,we are in a constant desire to prove something, sometimes our worth and sometimes our point of view. We try so so hard each day to be worthwhile even in the minutest of the ways, so my question here is Why??? Why do we have to prove our worth, what if we don't do nothing at all? What if I fall short? What if I am not productive at all?

As humans we have a tendency to move in herds or to follow a certain norms which others set, so once one of them starts the others follow even the lazy bums are influenced by the major mass of  the striving herd and fall in the trap of " Proving your worth". I sometimes feel that the olden times were better when there was no social media...nor the purchasing power...nor this invisible race where everyone is running at a fast pace even at the cost of tumbling down the hill!

The point I want to make through this blog is that if you have the desire and determination for some thing just do it but if not then " IT IS OK" , it is absolutely fine if you don't want to do anything or nothing interests you or even if you just do a  9 to 5 , or if you just sleep and eat to you heart's content "IT'S FINE!" Slow down, cherish yourself, take it easy, know what you  like, just keep reminding yourself how evolved  are you , draw boundaries , experience life and BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE . For judgements are the part of life and about comparisons  they are nothing but an unwanted tag !

An Early Riser's Saga

A cold dry porch and a silent early morning,

with those birds chirping and the tea leaves boiling,

Every crisp leaflet of that newly printed newspaper,

Giving away the sniff of the world and news to savor,

Those slight pink hues in the sky,

reminding you  that a new day is on a standby,

on the other side is the coffee giving you another chance,

Keeping the mind tight with it's fragrance,

The sun soaked floor bringing in the serenity,

and the glittering rays just pushing you to chase your dream with clarity,

Taking a step forward and embracing today as it stands,

while weaving the plans for tomorrow to make it grand!

Revise, retell, iterate yourself and believe,

Every day is beautiful , everyday just proves how beautiful life can be!

What do you miss the most from the past ?

I wonder what we miss the most,

Is it the freedom to move around or the liberty to socialise,

Is it the ease of availability of things or the way we use to take the things for granted?

Is it the petty problems which we always stretched till it became big  or the bigger problem like we are facing now?

Is it the changing rooms in our favourite fashion outlet,

Or our preferred seat in the movie theatre?

Is it the visit to carnivals, tourist spots,cruise and entertainment parks,

Or the travel plans which never went as per the plan?

Is it the no sweat exit and enteries to malls,

Or the flash mobs in the dancing halls?

Is it  being easily able to meet the parents who live far apart.

Or the school routine which is gone afar?

Is it the high spirits we experienced during a tournament or the festival,

Or is it the non stop deliveries of the amazon parcels which we took very casual?

Is it the colourful nightlife you miss or you miss the crowded beach.

I wonder if we miss what we actually missed or we miss what we never had, but the past always seems prettier than present however bad it could have been!

I wonder what we will do next, how will we really be? How will we react when it all will comes to end  or when we will be out of this lockdown, will we treasure that freedom with safety or will we go haywire like before.

Let's take baby steps in these time towards a safer, better world which is adjusting to the "New Normal"

Archives of a Memoirist

I will keep you in my heart so as my mind,

so I can feel your presence everytime I rewind.

Memories are a keepsake for life and yours will always remain with me,

The day when we said our goodbye and thou shall remain be.

I still wonder why we met if we had to part!

I still wonder why you had to leave without a word, didn't you know I was really hurt?

I was quiet even after the parting storm you created,

looking for the bits and pieces which must have been mistreated!

Picking up clues where did I go wrong, or if it was never meant at all?

or If we were too much in my head than our real life's brawl.

I am sure you have your side too, to say;

But that doesn't stop my side, to not build its way!

Your reasons must have been reasonable ,logical or grey,

I was gullible enough to believe it was only  heart and emotions that had the say!

I wanted to stand by you through thick and thin,

sometimes even if I had to ignore myself or commit a sin.

Probably the extremists like me have a deep prolong affect of everything important,

whether it was your talks,your habits or the fact you were adamant.

Your imprints on my life has left me forever longing,

they will still stay with me even if I inearth all your belongings.

Some memories cannot be taken out of your heart and mind,

they just live there profoundly making their presence once in a while.

The dark corners they stay in have flaps of  an opportunist,

that when you sit with an empty mind it mirrors your lost love in a gist!

pic courtesy:pinterest

The very "First Love"

The things we find most unconventionally and unexpectedly always make home in our heart,

So while I try to forget them all, I live with them everyday.

The deep brown eyes setting on me for the first time,

A warm pat saying that you will always watch my back.

The honest smile which always melted my heart,

Holding hands like we will never part.

The plans of lifetime in a wink of a eye,

That's how the first love feels like!

The reassurance of constantly staying beside,

Pampering me with all the little things I like.

Tackling all my mood swings and tantrum,

I was a tireless person  always with high thrum.

Never ending last 5 minutes before hanging up the phone,

All the cute texts in our newly found language like never before.

Feeling of being safe with you whenever you were around,

My first love never let me land my feet on the ground.

Always walking an extra mile whenever you could only for me,

It felt nothing less than Heaven when you were with me.

You brought the best in me, and you set me free,

Encouraging me to fly to the peak and calming down my spree.

You were more of a feeling than a person to me,

Where I felt the most happy and home as I can be.

A hopeless romantic, and someone who can go to lengths for the one you love,

I will always remember our honest and comforting "First Love".

Pic courtesy: Huffingtonpost.com

A chance of a lifetime!

The audacity of the current world situation is  genuinely alarming and haunts us with loads of information from all sides. So keeping all of them in mind and going through these tedious times, let us take an opportunity to be the best version of ourselves exhibiting humility and kindness towards each other.

No other time than now on earth we would need the humility and generosity as much! It is like the whole nature is been asking you to be someone you always used to think u should be, but never got a chance to be, in your busy  life . So this is your chance to redeem,where the whole universe is conspiring to make us a better human being.

With a full stop to our busy lives we have got a world of exploration in front of us where we could explore our hobbies , our strengths,our family time. Beginning with inculcating good habits  in the young ones, to sitting together for deeper conversations with the older generation. It is an absolutely fantastic time to just reset everything we used to do and redo them in a finer way.

Ok! I know you must be thinking it is easier said than done but the options with us are really limited and this tops the list of the things we must do. I still wonder how our lives has shrunk to a smaller caliber that too on various deeper levels. The unlikeliness of the situation has been daunting us, pushing us to deviate from all our plans of earlier life, doesn't it feels like an earlier life?

A life where so many things were taken for granted, roaming around freely, hanging out with friends even going to a grocery store which is now obstructed .We are not left with anything but ourselves and hence its a best opportunity to change, not only the way we live but the  whole thought process. These times already have showed us that how temporary our world is and however much we think that we are stable and prosperous , we are always on the brink of extinction. The paradox of having been planned for next 10 years straight and fixing goals of far future feels so foolish all of a sudden when we couldn't see all this coming!

Conclusively I firmly believe that humility, kindness, gentleness and compassion goes a long way, and it shall remain till the end with us. Spurts of helps and looking out for each other is something we all should start doing, with rigorous times coming ahead. Do your bit by calling an old friend and catching up from where you left, posting positive stuff online, developing interests and hobbies, checking up on your neighbours , participating and promoting creativity even while on video calls with family,  involve in deeper conversations with your parents and offsprings, it is a golden time to bond with humanity and lets do bit by bit by eliminating the unfavourable elements and spread positivity in these fragile times.

Pic courtesy : quotefancy.com

Nothing like before

Unanticipatedly the whole  formula of  living changed swiftly! Things which were important are somehow negligible and the things which were not given much importance are now a luxury.Imagine how much we took people, things and surroundings for granted, until all this happened we were still grasped in the cliched petty issues whether about relationship,work or certain friendship. 

Now all the jealousy, competition,branded shopping, travel flaunt is put to a full stop, just to save ourselves! So basically we were living a materialistic life until the outbreak and one fine day the switch got reversed  confining us to our home to save lives! This proves that afterall we started running this race for supporting our daily life only and somehow  got jumbled up with all the flashes and frills while running and forgot the basic goal of why we were running so fast? To introspect then and now everything looks so tiny and meaningless.

 The selfies with friends have become a a mere screenshots of numerous video calls, the instagram has become more of a stage to showcase your hobbies instead of being a market place. Virtual travel trips are a new thing, schools and students are struggling with online classes. Netflix has become a trend and a way to kill the boredom. Restaurants are a far fetched thing and cooking at home and putting up the videos are the "in" things.  News channels have no other topic than the current situation, and curfew is the new way of our daily routines. Quarantine and lockdown are the most used words on the internet. Hugs and kisses are being missed , coffee shops are now treasured the most after toilet paper (lol) malls and movie theatres are not even in the list of "places to be" and everything is zeroed down to existence and storage of daily necessities ( how ironic!)

Still missing the larger picture of what perilous situation we are dealing with; Everyone is trying hard, really hard to be as they were before but it will take time to settle with everyone that world is never going to be the same..and gradually we will learn to live in a new found way with sources available on our disposals.

Pic courtesy @thinkingmindspage

Being an Ordinary parent in these Extraordinary times

Being a mother of two boys ,aged 5 and 8 , I was enthralled and baffled upon hearing this pandemic outbreak. It started in December in China and since then almost all countries are battling with it now, as the cases arrived here in our country,the schools got closed in the third week of February hoping to open April and now extended till October . Earlier hearing this news as a parent I was intimidated and then I understood the fragility of it!

Well, as parents also we were not ready to handle such a preposterous event, suddenly we are expected to fit into a lot of roles along with being a parent like a teacher, friend,coach etc . Not only pondering over the academic shortcomings but also of the extra circular activities which the kids are now devoid of! I felt an urge of devising a plan to keep them updated with their academic level as well as keeping them carefree and loved in this difficult times.

Hence It drains my energy everyday thinking of how else can I make a day better and fruitful for these kids.Limiting screen timings, finding books to read for them, researching on a new craft, keeping up with a bit of academics too !But that's just one part of the play and I have another parts too to play as well, where I have to manage my baking venture, home and mountain of other daily tasks and responsibilities.I am sure a lot of the Moms must be feeling the same as me that we are depicting  Noah  from the Noah's ark --stocking up, keeping calm and handling the kids keeping them indoors.

First of all take it easy, breathe and don't be so hard on yourself as a parent, you have to provide all of it but it is really not humanly possible.Therefore stop being guilty of what you are not able to provide,  but yes educate them about the problem and tell them that they are safe and loved.Take one step at a time to keep them engaged , as we are bound to more and more social distancing .Plan one activity a day and bifurcate it into series of  activities on the same topic throughout the day.

Kids take up lot of our energy and generally its hard to keep them bounded to a thing for a long time. But, well if you give a little structure to their day and they will be sorted and happier. I am huge fan of "routines" and adhere to them strictly enough.Hence I started with making a routine for them where we do similar things at similar time every day whether it be creative time..bed time..reading time..learning time, and their beloved screen time. Almost a month now that the school closed we are still sticking to routines and its helping me to be sane for sure.

Despite being a referee to my kids' fights everyday I still wonder how they get so much energy to fight about every petty thing, and I realized that imagine if that energy is not being able to invest in right directions! These are hard times but we can learn many things and make them learn it too. There are a many online platforms available to keep them engaged. Of all, its the best time to introspect and teach them the best, on life and being a better human being,  also about their environmental responsibilities.

We don't know how long and how far we will be into it,as these staggering times are difficult and much challenging to deal with kids . These are out testing times and also of building up our pile of patience to handle everything around.

I know we have too much on our plates as a person, but let that not vent out out and reflect on kids, instead let this free time for kids be a creative and educative one, with lessons they learn from us each day and what we choose to make them do.

Happy Parenting! 

In midst of this Pandemic

Never imagined , I would ever write this or rather experince this scenario ,what we are experiencing today because of COVID -19. I am an expat living in a middle eastern country called "Kuwait" where the population is close to 4 millions and even a few cases pose enough stress.Upon the arrival of this pandemic in this country marked the shutting down of schools followed by shutting down of everything else subsequently . Finally the "D" day came making us face a real panic situation  called "lock down" where an information from the ministry came that the country is locking down tonight !

"LOCKING DOWN TONIGHT?"

The way people understand the above statement is to their own discretion but with major population of people  being expat in this country was certainly "disturbing" for them.The fact adds to the misery that as an expat you always feel a nomad however comfortable you are in a foreign country. Eventually the above statement was clarified and was imposed upon the workplaces and public places to be closed, but people still contemplated whether the supermarkets shall remain open or not ? (That's how the human instinct works to save the livelihood!)

The fear of running out of groceries was more than the fear of pandemic itself it seemed that day...where it felt that the world is coming to an end somehow in light of the chaotic situation and mass herding upon the Cooperative store, supermarkets and small mom and pop stores ! There were long queues on the bill counter and barely any place to move around with so many people and their trolleys ! As a baker by profession I was gladly baking until 5 pm in the evening when my sister called and panicked me about the situation stating that I should buy enough groceries that last a few weeks, so at first I panicked because lock down means I can't fly to my home country India where my parents are...plus this humongous amount of staples and groceries to be taken care of amidst this crisis.

I wonder why we are taught everything and not this " Crisis Management" . We as a citizens of any country don't have any idea or rather any expertise as to what is needed to be done in such a catastrophic situation. As a result the whole world is seeing the empty shelves because people are hoarding and don't know how much to store?  Believe me in coming days hoarding and wastage of water will be the prime problems after the rising number of cases, stock markets and declining businesses.Hopefully as soon as it gets over (if at all) the governments from all over the world would reckon this subject of  "crisis management" as a directive to all the citizens.

So while on the war front with this sanitization, constant news, lock down, grocery management and most of all the precautions to be taken care of ,I am dealing with  two house ridden kids too, who have been the most disoriented ones all this time,  they are happy to be home and all but they hardly know what we are facing as a human community! Keeping them creatively busy and resourceful is another challenge most of us are facing as moms as more than half billion kids are off school throughout the world. 

Hence I feel we have a lot more weight on our shoulders than we thought , foremost comes the hygiene, filtering the the news with mindfulness, saving as much water, not hoarding up more than two weeks of groceries, social distancing of course( not suiting your own requirements though), spending some quality family time and let kids explore our planet through online platforms and make them understand what measures they can take as a kid to avoid the situation. Conclusively no-one can say if it is just the tip of the iceberg or probably we are  half way through, whatever it is we have to be more careful and responsible towards this challenge we are facing in these agitating times.

Oh Womania!

And whenever I look around I find women struggling. We (women) are some how taught to be patient and bearing...we are taught to adjust fiercely till the last drop of our courage and brevity..we are everything but ourselves...
Women are always pushed to do things mostly they don't like or encourage but still on the cost of self depletion they carry on the burdened task. Why the nature is like that where a  woman has to suffer more than men...what society is this if we have rules where women is only one responsible for household even if she works?what kind of parenting are we doing when we tell her that you have to adjust?when we talk about equality why dont we start with equality in gender realted works.
My heart goes out to women who live a life they are not even aware of what they are missing or what else they could be..Then there are women who know all that is wrong but just says yes to things to be acceptable in the society , after knowing also they themselves don't want to leave that trap..We only want to be like that "caged" for years and years and blame it on our fate or otherwise...
Why dnt we let ourselves freed and look beyond the household and the chores, why dont we rise above this discrimition and be someone who is equally contributing to the  relationship. Why can't we offer the next generation freedom of thought and action? Not teaching them the role that's  defined from ages but to teach them to be themselves by accepting who they really are, that whatever way they choose will be the best and whatever will happen, there still will be a way! Lets be the change we want to see..

  

Of intensity and vulnerability

Some or the other time in our life we come across  people who are like the right fit to "your"  definition of a perfect person , suddenly your whole life changes, the routine becomes peppier and life becomes more peaceful; when in the back of your mind you know is that person is there along your side.

Enhancing it further the other person also makes you believe that they feel the same intensity and chemistry to hang around with  you. Its certainly funny that you believe that "this is it" and your search for that perfect person is stopped, you open your arms heart and mind to welcome this new arrival of emotions and surge into the idea of this deep relation where your mind thinks likewise and your idea of life aligns but alas! Life is not as rosy as we think about it. Y

our words make you vulnerable and makes it easy for that person to either leave or tone down. I don't know how that happens that a fraction of second can fade away all memories!

As a younger person in my life I was a dreamer someone who was rebellious and filmy at the same time, I was under an illusion of perfect friendships and other relationships I was always sure that someone will come always to pamper and rescue me in the end as I was mostly the center of attention thanks to the set of multiskills I have! But I forgot that all that attention and appreciations are generally  short lived and does not survive for the lengths of time, and that I realized a bit later.

Gradually I started hating the fact that why am I so intense and why only does it affects me only so badly . I always looked for constant people and not erratic because my system doesn't accepts that. I have always been a slave of overthinking and mostly that lands me in vain, then later I thought and thought and came to a conclusion that----Sometimes we invest so much of ourselves in someone else that its hard to retrieve  its like your software just crashes in the system and you are dumbfound to act, therefore its better to invest in your own self.

As my phoenix was burning to ashes I thrived and started resurrecting myself , started loving my intensity and my depth of thoughts and all of a sudden I felt liberated, as it was only me I was worried about and only my convenience I wanted to cater to. The pleasing and not being able to say no was reformed to -- suiting my convenience and saying NO as and when I could do things without stretching myself. 

Current State: I am happy. liberated. Intense. Unconventional. Maverick. full of Self love . someone with no expectations

As human beings we are somehow programmed to work around a goal whether long term or short term. There are some people who just search for it all their lives and then there are some who find it easy enough. I urge you to find a goal and work around it, you will love your energy flowing in those directions rather than people and certain relationships... a goal always keeps you grounded and deep rooted to what you are and where you want to go. Pursue a goal and work hard if you also are an intense like me...life is harder for people like us.... but we in our heart are the happiest because we don't give any less than 100 percent to anything we do.

Wipe off the Temerity

Its disheartening to see when today's world treats simplicity with mediocrity and showoff with grandeur. It disappointing to locate people around you so indulged in their own selves that the humility and kindness are fading away...
That every kind gesture is taken for granted and that each word of yours makes you vulnerable enough to be commented upon Its really sad that the world enjoys negativity  in such a fruitful way,that every luxury is just treated as a mere average.
It make my heart twich to feel where are we heading and what do we achieve in turning the people down everytime inspite of their best efforts.i wish we become a change and stand out in this world, where we recognize everyone for their efforts instead of measuring their importance to us.

Its a sinking feeling but we shall arise eventually where we will give respect to relations..things..friendships..where loyalties will find its set places, where not everything or everyone readily available will be just overlooked  . Everyone is unique  with their own value system and has something different to offer to our set of skills. Start here. Start now. Be the change, value the universe! Work hard, Stay Humble.

Just Stay

Stand as a rock with me , I need your hand in mine..
These winds are harsh for me alone to survive...
I will need u in darkness, I will need you in sunshine..
Stay along with me,bear me for a little more time..
I know i have no worth against your shine
But i will still hop along waiting for you to align..
I am not as strong as I look..i too look around for familiar smile..
I might sound confident, i may look proud but without you I can't even rise.
Thoughts are numerous and words are very few to define,
What your presence mean to me and where you stand in my life..
You are the morning's first ray which gives me energy to suffice..
With you i can conquer the world and bypass any rough tide.
Stand by me , i am weak without you ,you make and break me...so please put with me because i say it very few time.
Just stay !

Parenting - The second time

When my first one was born i was on the cloud 9 you know that excitement to become the parents for the very first time, you want be the perfect with all the firsts .Starting from feeding them till umpteen number of hours, reading story books,making them brush twice,teaching them all the GK they can like shapes ..numbers..letters,getting them all kind of toys,loading them with the newest fashion, you know like you want to be a perfect parent.

Then after you complete all the cliched cycles of potty training, breastfeeding, terrible twos ,teething and cleaning all the pukes and poops in between as you come out of the first time mommy depression ,thats when you think that the your first born needs a company and then you get into this vicious circle of parenting the second time.. and believe me there lies a trap!

My second one came when my first one  was 3.3 years old, and it was damn tough for me...although many people do in a much lesser difference than this but God only knows how they manage... so now i had two little boy bunches with my handsful i set on a brigade called motherhood..by the way the word 'Mother' has an army on its own...where somehow you get super powers of Hindu Goddesses like spinning on your feet around the kids with 2 hands working like 10 extended hands in one single day around varied tasks..

When my second one arrived we were on cloud 9 again....it felt complete and enticing .First few months were like a honeymoon ...i  loved to cuddle and snuggle the baby...because i knew that the time will fly and he will outgrow my lap...as the time went i  learnt so much ; my second one is  a much difficult child...he would regress to sleep..eat and pacify. But that stage also passed on with a hope of a better tommorow..

Then came a time when my first one started his preschool and the younger one started walking it was a chaos with whom to handle first and then you learn the art of attending them on single turn basis...but come on my elder one was just 4 how could i expect him to be that understanding but he did...he somehow got matured by the face of the situations...

As the time went my elder one was 5 and the younger one was 1.5 there were different hardships but we had fun as a team! My younger one was teething...trying to talk...trying to eat  on his own while my elder one was learning languages (read and write) at school..i could somehow manage to catch up with my nap and other interests when my younger one used to sleep ( which was hardly an hour with a gap of every 10 min in between to put him to sleep all over again) and i learnt how to manage ...my time and theirs...believe me even 24 hours seem less to me even now..
So today my elder one is 6 and the younger one  is 2.9 and the challenges have multiplied now i know what it is to be a mother of two boys...fighting for the same toy , tv remote (switching between baby tv and Nickelodeon) and numerous other things ...where you cant choose side and the gyan of sharing doesn't suffice...but i get more time of my own as the younger one goes to a play school but he still keeps me on toes..his cuddles are amazing, the way he just circles around me the whole day is flattering and annoying at the same time...

There are days of disagreement, scolding, frustration,wearout but when they both are not around even for 2 hours i miss them alot..they are more of my buddies than my boys..everyday i am learning patience, compassion ,being a listener,a referee ,a pacifier and still holding my senses together at the end of the day..watching them sleep brings a smile on my face with a full day's flashback.

But i must confess that the second time parenting is much of a cheating than the first one..the efforts are definitely less..the dedication is reduced because you have two to look forward too ... but the younger siblings still are always smarter,they learn quicker and  know their way out and the irony is you know it as a parent but still you don't do much about it..you just pass it on...being a more stronger ,smarter parent.

Seeking Validation

Among the whistling crowd i was standing and looking for a familiar face .. a face which i can recognize and smille to ...either someone from the past kept intact in the memory lanes or someone from recent present who knows me to the best of my behaviour...
Thats how we seek people in life... in the bustling streets if we bump into meeting someone we know the smile just takes the whole space...thats how important people are to us .
From the people we don't seek for familiarity but for validation! The things which we are doing becomes much much more worthwhile with the validation of others that our own self confidence gets sideline. . Validation comes in existence in so many ways whether from society,family or friends.
Seeking a companionship is another kind of it...its like validating our existence...they say you should love the person who loves you, who accepts you as you are , who sets you free all this is nothing more than a validation to oneself that you are the best and we love you as you are (thats how selfish the human kind is)
We are always looking for our type of people...people who fine tune with us...with same wavelengths like ours again basically for the validation where you are not challenged for the way you are instead boasted and praised for what you are... in friendships its easy to manage this arrangement but in relationships you have to balance and those non validating moments create rifts and nonabsolving fights...thats how fondly we seek validation.
A mere acquaintance in a complete new place makes us feel like someone close enough to function we are more confident in that space and all the insecurities vanishes.. we wait for the validation of being called nice...beautiful...slim...sexy...sharp...crazy...hep and the list goes on thanks to the social media platform to make it even worse for us..and one of the recent examples for validation are Sarahah where anonymity validates us even more..but the exciting part of validation is it makes us believe much more than what we are.
The tight schedules of today's culture makes the physical presence impossible therefore  these social platforms are gaining more importance thats the only way we get the validation from people.
Why for our existences and choices we look for acceptance? Why can't we set ourselves free and leave it on the the outcome to decide? Why we want people to review us from time to time? Be yourself and be free and see how it turns your life around..even if its good for noone but you, you will be glad to do it for your own self!
Seeking validation is still fine but just be dependent on it for every decision or self review can be discouraging and harmful. Know yourself and beam about it and don't wait for any kind of validation to happen for yourself...because come what may its you who knows yourself the best not the validation which is coming your way..

Overboard with emotions!

My amplifying emotions has been always a problem with me..in all my relationships on this planet i always have given more than the other person could give...Had it ever happen to you where you have been standing only on the sending end?
How much can you give and if you don't recieve the same frequency how much can you emit ?

In similar situations the frequency dies a slow death because you are constantly trying to match two things a) expectation of that relationship in your head and b) the frequency of the other person and whilst the process your own frequency changes.

I always indulge more emotionally like a fool waiting to be made fun of ! After suffering also it didn't change my intensity...it hurts when you are totally in it and the other person just takes you lightly...i think because you become too much available , too much available to talk , to text as you keep the person on priority and not because you are free and unoccupied.The other person doesn't realise it and takes you for granted...and i hate this part!

Why doesnt you recieve as much as you give? When i can invest my lengths n breadths of emotions in a relationship , why not recieve the same passion. I know people are different an blah blah . But the simple rule of life says - what you give is what you get !  What is the use of Karma if it gives it back to you in form of other people , and not in that particular relation?I feel a relationship is  futile if it is not intense!

So the theories of may be you weren't meant to be together or it was not suppose to last also doesnt solves my curiosity! If you can recieve why can't you give back ? Either stop being on the recieving end at all or just respond! People all their lives can't decide what are they looking for , when they can't identify they even loose what they already have.

Life doesn't gives second chances... always value what you get whether it is small or big but the other person is investing emotionally,you might not fall for it initially but eventually you will realise that this is what you have been seeking. So if you ever get lucky recieving the mountains of emotions and love , don't fear to climb it ...every step of it will be worth your time.

Of Passion and Self love

And that's how I keep coming back to  you , with different speeds but dire need of love. The more I think about you the more I feel I loose myself , its like entering the world of illusion .. of fantasies .. of dreams where whatever I desire I can achieve with your presence. The passion which brings us together bind us tight has an address of its own residing in our hearts unleashed.

The first time I was without you, I couldn't find a way on my own , I was like a phoenix which couldn't resurrect, that's how much I depended on you, but you never realized the madness I carried in my heart and soul for you. There were ways to define my love for you but I hardly could find words or synergize with your energy.

The second time I was without of you ..I was strong, strong enough to hide my weakness without you, I understood that by this time you are used to the fact that I can live without you. You took me lightly again and I broke down to pieces in my heart, but I stood strong thankfully you taught that very well to me. 

Then again a time came when we met , we met fiercely in the same tangent this time procrastinating the going away time this time. Everything looks same now as the first time with you and I passionately in love , the only thing remains changed that I am unaffected by  your behavior , I am strong in my heart and mind. I am no longer afraid of you leaving neither do I am refraining to keep myself away from you.Because I know somewhere in my mind that although our love  is  persistent but still we were never on the same page and you will still go away.

So here I am all strong headed, unaffected and self dependent , I realized in the due course that you don't need anyone else to assure you or praise you all along the way and you can do it pretty well yourself . We do get dependent on relationships in life and they become our main reasons to be stay alive but believe  me striving for self happiness is the only thing which will help us in long run and makes us keep going.

Pic courtesy : Instagram

Grecian Memories -Travel Diaries

I recently happened to travel Greece for a short holiday with my family and it happened to be an ecstactic trip for all the research we have done for the whole month, it felt as of we saw practically all of Greece online only...I so wanted to write this post not only to  highlight my itenary and all the good things we saw there for the reference but also to keep my experiences safely in words to which I can come back to whenever I want. It was a 8 day trip so we tried to cover as much as we can to see the beautiful islands of Greece.
There are approximately 1500 islands in Greece few of them are very popular and touristy like Corfu , Crete, Mykonos ,.Santorini , Rhodes to name a few! We covered Athens, Mykonos , Santorini and a day cruise of 3 islands.

DAY 1 : We straight away headed to National Archealogical Muesuem in the morning as we were staying in central athens with an air bnb accomodation it was not more than 10 min of walk,it had every thing about the greek civilization and everything they have kept safe and sound...the sagas of their superheroes.
After lunch we headed to a Monstriaki station through Metroit was a hep place with a proximity to Acropolis in rear view to the streets with cafes and old houses on the side leading to the acropolis muesuem and the Acropolis. The walk was beautiful in the middle of the town, the cobbled streets, the famous plaka stairs.Metro is quite easy to use and convinient too with 3 lines in working it makes travelling alot comfortable. We visited the Acropolis muesuem too and after dinner and a delicious homemade famous gelato we headed back to the apartment.
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DAY 2: We were inclined towards this day cruise where they take you to show 3 -4 island in a day ,we opted for three islands in a day called Hydra , Porus and Aegena. The islands were beautiful and exotic ...silent yet so much exhorbitant. Porus is very famous for its greek yogurt icecream. Aegena is very famous for its pistachio groves as it is the biggest producer of pistachio and houses a Monastry which is famous all over the world, we even  tried the authentic sweets of almond whose taste is still on my tongue.

 

DAY 3 : It was a lovely bright day and so perfect to see Athens...so we took a metro to Syntagma square where we saw the grand ceremony of changing of guards which happens everyhour for 24 hrs right outside the Parliament ,from there we boarded a hop on and off bus for the city sightseeing whose ticket validates for 24 hours....the city has a historical importance and whether it was Acropolis or the temple of Zeus the monuments had a story of their own. The Panatheniac stadium hosted the first Olymics of the Modern world , its a breathtaking stadium and it stand so tall and magnificient tell the glories of the  athelets. All in all an eventful day which ended beautifully with the shopping and dining in beautiful Plaka area..that is a must visit if you ever happen to travel to Athens.

 

DAY 4: It was an island hopping day and we headed to Mykonos for a  day in a  ship called Sea jets..it was a three hour  ride ,smooth enough..Mykonos was a beautiful place like Heaven on earth  ...an island on the hill with white washed houses,and weather so beautiful we checked in our hotel with perfect view of the sea after resting for a while we headed to the car hire shop,hiring a car comes pretty handy , and you easily get a car of your choice and convinience. Off we went to the windmills the parking was right behind the windmills, as it was a shoulder season it was damn windy. The famous windmills are one of its kind and defintely a worth to watch,its recommended to go in daylight to get photos clicked. Then we headed to the coffee shops 5 min walking from the windmills adjascent to sea offering a beautiful sight of the sunset. Just behind the coffee place was the much talked about Mykonos town...and it took my breath away with narrow cobbled streets, whitewashed shops with blue ,red and green gates were selling mostly souviniers and fashion material. Even if you are not intrested in the shopping this place is a must visit to experience the feel of it as it offers many restaurants too we had an authentic Italian food consisting of handmade pastas. I wanted to stay long but the time came when we had to leave and we headed back to the hotel. Personally i felt that it would have been better if we stayed 2 days in mykonos for the kind of place that was, although the beach clubs were all closed as it was October but  if it was summers the beach clubs like Tropicana and Scandinavia would have been in full business. Don't miss these popular clubs when you visit Mykonos.

 

DAY 5: It was another island hopping day and we went to Santorini the most shooted island of Greece. The Sea jet ride was terrible this time because the sea waves were high and in full swing because of the high tide, I won't recommend the Sea jet ride if the ocean is  having a high tide. After reaching Santorini we stayed in Perissa , we explored the Black beach of Perissa like Perivolos,Kamari which are famous for there black small pebble beaches,with hills in the background it also has cafes and restaurants around for satieting the apetite. We tried the stuffed Pita bread, Greek salad , Dtakos which are the famous greek foods.

 

DAY 6: We hired a Car and explored Thira (Fira) ,its like a downtown market with all the shops and the cafes , happening place!  we had Gyros for lunch that day , its an authentic sandwich made of pita and filled with falafel , meat etc just like shewarma but definitely tasted different after a while we even did a wine tasting tour in a Bar it actually gave me a lot of insight being a non drinker. Then we headed to a cliff walk from Fira to Imerovigli (name of a village), so this cliff walks extends till Oia but we did till Imerovigli as we were going to Oia the next day. The walk was magnificient with the view of the ocean , cliff,whitewashed houses; attached to Fira is a village called Firostefani and then comes Imerovigli so the walk ended with a sunset we witnessed at Imerovigli. The walk uphill was worth every step and its a must do if you visit Santorini.

Day 7: It was the day we visited another beach called the red beach of Akrotiri .
If was a red cliff with red sand and absoloutely clear water, the sight was rare and fulfilling then we headed for the town of Akrotiri where we visited La Ponta a 800 year old Venetian castle which is restored privately,where musical programmes happen. It was on the top of the village crossing the authentic street and houses of the locals. Then we headed for the last tip of the island where the lighthouse was located but as we found it too far we just stopped by on a local and traditional restaurant with authentic Greek food and we relished every bite . We came back to the hotel and checked out as we headed for a cave house experience in Oia. The Cave house in Oia was a different experience with the rooms built in cave style even the bathrooms..Oia has lot of hotels with cave style room , it is very scenic and beautiful place and a must visit to enjoy the view of the cliff from these Cave houses. In the evening we explore Oia, it is one of the poshest places in Santorini with high end restaurants and shops. We finished the day with photographs and an Italian cuisine last but not the least we tried Ouzo the very renowned drink of the Greek island.

 

Day 8: As we flew back to Athens to catch our flight back home we had a lay over for 5 hours so we thought to check out the Attica zoological park ,there is a nice service on the airport called care4bag which stores your luggage according to the height for a specific period of time. We stored our luggage there and saw the zoo, the zoo was fairly huge with multiple animals ,reptiles,birds,fishes of all types , I was pretty impressed with the dolphin show and the way they layed out the whole zoo. My little ones had a great time there and i would recommend it if you are visiting Athens with kids.
And finally it was time to head back home with a mind full of memories and heart full on the brim. It will always be one of my memorable trips.

Time and Again

Time and again i thank God that I met u...
Time and again i feel lucky that our paths crossed
Time and again i pinch myself to make sure if its real...that i have you..
Time and again i miss you ...like a small child wanting to wrap you in her arms...
Time and again how i wish if i could spend each second of my life with you...
Time and again i try to hold myself to not to over react in your absence
Time and again i fail because i don't want towaste our time together..
Time and again i feel miserable after speaking so much also i can't express what you are to me...
Time and again your simplicity takes me by an awe...your control makes me want more of u...n ofcourse your love to look forward to..
Time and again i fall in love with u over n over...
Time and again i become sure that u r the only one whom i was looking for...and there is nothing more i could ever ask for..