Nothing like before

Unanticipatedly the whole  formula of  living changed swiftly! Things which were important are somehow negligible and the things which were not given much importance are now a luxury.Imagine how much we took people, things and surroundings for granted, until all this happened we were still grasped in the cliched petty issues whether about relationship,work or certain friendship. 

Now all the jealousy, competition,branded shopping, travel flaunt is put to a full stop, just to save ourselves! So basically we were living a materialistic life until the outbreak and one fine day the switch got reversed  confining us to our home to save lives! This proves that afterall we started running this race for supporting our daily life only and somehow  got jumbled up with all the flashes and frills while running and forgot the basic goal of why we were running so fast? To introspect then and now everything looks so tiny and meaningless.

 The selfies with friends have become a a mere screenshots of numerous video calls, the instagram has become more of a stage to showcase your hobbies instead of being a market place. Virtual travel trips are a new thing, schools and students are struggling with online classes. Netflix has become a trend and a way to kill the boredom. Restaurants are a far fetched thing and cooking at home and putting up the videos are the "in" things.  News channels have no other topic than the current situation, and curfew is the new way of our daily routines. Quarantine and lockdown are the most used words on the internet. Hugs and kisses are being missed , coffee shops are now treasured the most after toilet paper (lol) malls and movie theatres are not even in the list of "places to be" and everything is zeroed down to existence and storage of daily necessities ( how ironic!)

Still missing the larger picture of what perilous situation we are dealing with; Everyone is trying hard, really hard to be as they were before but it will take time to settle with everyone that world is never going to be the same..and gradually we will learn to live in a new found way with sources available on our disposals.

Pic courtesy @thinkingmindspage

Being an Ordinary parent in these Extraordinary times

Being a mother of two boys ,aged 5 and 8 , I was enthralled and baffled upon hearing this pandemic outbreak. It started in December in China and since then almost all countries are battling with it now, as the cases arrived here in our country,the schools got closed in the third week of February hoping to open April and now extended till October . Earlier hearing this news as a parent I was intimidated and then I understood the fragility of it!

Well, as parents also we were not ready to handle such a preposterous event, suddenly we are expected to fit into a lot of roles along with being a parent like a teacher, friend,coach etc . Not only pondering over the academic shortcomings but also of the extra circular activities which the kids are now devoid of! I felt an urge of devising a plan to keep them updated with their academic level as well as keeping them carefree and loved in this difficult times.

Hence It drains my energy everyday thinking of how else can I make a day better and fruitful for these kids.Limiting screen timings, finding books to read for them, researching on a new craft, keeping up with a bit of academics too !But that's just one part of the play and I have another parts too to play as well, where I have to manage my baking venture, home and mountain of other daily tasks and responsibilities.I am sure a lot of the Moms must be feeling the same as me that we are depicting  Noah  from the Noah's ark --stocking up, keeping calm and handling the kids keeping them indoors.

First of all take it easy, breathe and don't be so hard on yourself as a parent, you have to provide all of it but it is really not humanly possible.Therefore stop being guilty of what you are not able to provide,  but yes educate them about the problem and tell them that they are safe and loved.Take one step at a time to keep them engaged , as we are bound to more and more social distancing .Plan one activity a day and bifurcate it into series of  activities on the same topic throughout the day.

Kids take up lot of our energy and generally its hard to keep them bounded to a thing for a long time. But, well if you give a little structure to their day and they will be sorted and happier. I am huge fan of "routines" and adhere to them strictly enough.Hence I started with making a routine for them where we do similar things at similar time every day whether it be creative time..bed time..reading time..learning time, and their beloved screen time. Almost a month now that the school closed we are still sticking to routines and its helping me to be sane for sure.

Despite being a referee to my kids' fights everyday I still wonder how they get so much energy to fight about every petty thing, and I realized that imagine if that energy is not being able to invest in right directions! These are hard times but we can learn many things and make them learn it too. There are a many online platforms available to keep them engaged. Of all, its the best time to introspect and teach them the best, on life and being a better human being,  also about their environmental responsibilities.

We don't know how long and how far we will be into it,as these staggering times are difficult and much challenging to deal with kids . These are out testing times and also of building up our pile of patience to handle everything around.

I know we have too much on our plates as a person, but let that not vent out out and reflect on kids, instead let this free time for kids be a creative and educative one, with lessons they learn from us each day and what we choose to make them do.

Happy Parenting! 

In midst of this Pandemic

Never imagined , I would ever write this or rather experince this scenario ,what we are experiencing today because of COVID -19. I am an expat living in a middle eastern country called "Kuwait" where the population is close to 4 millions and even a few cases pose enough stress.Upon the arrival of this pandemic in this country marked the shutting down of schools followed by shutting down of everything else subsequently . Finally the "D" day came making us face a real panic situation  called "lock down" where an information from the ministry came that the country is locking down tonight !

"LOCKING DOWN TONIGHT?"

The way people understand the above statement is to their own discretion but with major population of people  being expat in this country was certainly "disturbing" for them.The fact adds to the misery that as an expat you always feel a nomad however comfortable you are in a foreign country. Eventually the above statement was clarified and was imposed upon the workplaces and public places to be closed, but people still contemplated whether the supermarkets shall remain open or not ? (That's how the human instinct works to save the livelihood!)

The fear of running out of groceries was more than the fear of pandemic itself it seemed that day...where it felt that the world is coming to an end somehow in light of the chaotic situation and mass herding upon the Cooperative store, supermarkets and small mom and pop stores ! There were long queues on the bill counter and barely any place to move around with so many people and their trolleys ! As a baker by profession I was gladly baking until 5 pm in the evening when my sister called and panicked me about the situation stating that I should buy enough groceries that last a few weeks, so at first I panicked because lock down means I can't fly to my home country India where my parents are...plus this humongous amount of staples and groceries to be taken care of amidst this crisis.

I wonder why we are taught everything and not this " Crisis Management" . We as a citizens of any country don't have any idea or rather any expertise as to what is needed to be done in such a catastrophic situation. As a result the whole world is seeing the empty shelves because people are hoarding and don't know how much to store?  Believe me in coming days hoarding and wastage of water will be the prime problems after the rising number of cases, stock markets and declining businesses.Hopefully as soon as it gets over (if at all) the governments from all over the world would reckon this subject of  "crisis management" as a directive to all the citizens.

So while on the war front with this sanitization, constant news, lock down, grocery management and most of all the precautions to be taken care of ,I am dealing with  two house ridden kids too, who have been the most disoriented ones all this time,  they are happy to be home and all but they hardly know what we are facing as a human community! Keeping them creatively busy and resourceful is another challenge most of us are facing as moms as more than half billion kids are off school throughout the world. 

Hence I feel we have a lot more weight on our shoulders than we thought , foremost comes the hygiene, filtering the the news with mindfulness, saving as much water, not hoarding up more than two weeks of groceries, social distancing of course( not suiting your own requirements though), spending some quality family time and let kids explore our planet through online platforms and make them understand what measures they can take as a kid to avoid the situation. Conclusively no-one can say if it is just the tip of the iceberg or probably we are  half way through, whatever it is we have to be more careful and responsible towards this challenge we are facing in these agitating times.

Oh Womania!

And whenever I look around I find women struggling. We (women) are some how taught to be patient and bearing...we are taught to adjust fiercely till the last drop of our courage and brevity..we are everything but ourselves...
Women are always pushed to do things mostly they don't like or encourage but still on the cost of self depletion they carry on the burdened task. Why the nature is like that where a  woman has to suffer more than men...what society is this if we have rules where women is only one responsible for household even if she works?what kind of parenting are we doing when we tell her that you have to adjust?when we talk about equality why dont we start with equality in gender realted works.
My heart goes out to women who live a life they are not even aware of what they are missing or what else they could be..Then there are women who know all that is wrong but just says yes to things to be acceptable in the society , after knowing also they themselves don't want to leave that trap..We only want to be like that "caged" for years and years and blame it on our fate or otherwise...
Why dnt we let ourselves freed and look beyond the household and the chores, why dont we rise above this discrimition and be someone who is equally contributing to the  relationship. Why can't we offer the next generation freedom of thought and action? Not teaching them the role that's  defined from ages but to teach them to be themselves by accepting who they really are, that whatever way they choose will be the best and whatever will happen, there still will be a way! Lets be the change we want to see..

  

Of intensity and vulnerability

Some or the other time in our life we come across  people who are like the right fit to "your"  definition of a perfect person , suddenly your whole life changes, the routine becomes peppier and life becomes more peaceful; when in the back of your mind you know is that person is there along your side.

Enhancing it further the other person also makes you believe that they feel the same intensity and chemistry to hang around with  you. Its certainly funny that you believe that "this is it" and your search for that perfect person is stopped, you open your arms heart and mind to welcome this new arrival of emotions and surge into the idea of this deep relation where your mind thinks likewise and your idea of life aligns but alas! Life is not as rosy as we think about it. Y

our words make you vulnerable and makes it easy for that person to either leave or tone down. I don't know how that happens that a fraction of second can fade away all memories!

As a younger person in my life I was a dreamer someone who was rebellious and filmy at the same time, I was under an illusion of perfect friendships and other relationships I was always sure that someone will come always to pamper and rescue me in the end as I was mostly the center of attention thanks to the set of multiskills I have! But I forgot that all that attention and appreciations are generally  short lived and does not survive for the lengths of time, and that I realized a bit later.

Gradually I started hating the fact that why am I so intense and why only does it affects me only so badly . I always looked for constant people and not erratic because my system doesn't accepts that. I have always been a slave of overthinking and mostly that lands me in vain, then later I thought and thought and came to a conclusion that----Sometimes we invest so much of ourselves in someone else that its hard to retrieve  its like your software just crashes in the system and you are dumbfound to act, therefore its better to invest in your own self.

As my phoenix was burning to ashes I thrived and started resurrecting myself , started loving my intensity and my depth of thoughts and all of a sudden I felt liberated, as it was only me I was worried about and only my convenience I wanted to cater to. The pleasing and not being able to say no was reformed to -- suiting my convenience and saying NO as and when I could do things without stretching myself. 

Current State: I am happy. liberated. Intense. Unconventional. Maverick. full of Self love . someone with no expectations

As human beings we are somehow programmed to work around a goal whether long term or short term. There are some people who just search for it all their lives and then there are some who find it easy enough. I urge you to find a goal and work around it, you will love your energy flowing in those directions rather than people and certain relationships... a goal always keeps you grounded and deep rooted to what you are and where you want to go. Pursue a goal and work hard if you also are an intense like me...life is harder for people like us.... but we in our heart are the happiest because we don't give any less than 100 percent to anything we do.

Wipe off the Temerity

Its disheartening to see when today's world treats simplicity with mediocrity and showoff with grandeur. It disappointing to locate people around you so indulged in their own selves that the humility and kindness are fading away...
That every kind gesture is taken for granted and that each word of yours makes you vulnerable enough to be commented upon Its really sad that the world enjoys negativity  in such a fruitful way,that every luxury is just treated as a mere average.
It make my heart twich to feel where are we heading and what do we achieve in turning the people down everytime inspite of their best efforts.i wish we become a change and stand out in this world, where we recognize everyone for their efforts instead of measuring their importance to us.

Its a sinking feeling but we shall arise eventually where we will give respect to relations..things..friendships..where loyalties will find its set places, where not everything or everyone readily available will be just overlooked  . Everyone is unique  with their own value system and has something different to offer to our set of skills. Start here. Start now. Be the change, value the universe! Work hard, Stay Humble.

Just Stay

Stand as a rock with me , I need your hand in mine..
These winds are harsh for me alone to survive...
I will need u in darkness, I will need you in sunshine..
Stay along with me,bear me for a little more time..
I know i have no worth against your shine
But i will still hop along waiting for you to align..
I am not as strong as I look..i too look around for familiar smile..
I might sound confident, i may look proud but without you I can't even rise.
Thoughts are numerous and words are very few to define,
What your presence mean to me and where you stand in my life..
You are the morning's first ray which gives me energy to suffice..
With you i can conquer the world and bypass any rough tide.
Stand by me , i am weak without you ,you make and break me...so please put with me because i say it very few time.
Just stay !