Be cognizant of contentment

Years ago when i was in school...we had a special school and hostel for deaf and dumb adjacent to my school...
As kids we were afraid of the noises they made when we played in the playground ....from the adjacent buildings ...as those special kids had only the way out to communicate was to make loud noises..
We used to ignore the noise and used to eat our favourite food filled tiffins...enjoying our annual function..sports...mere fights and making best of frenship ( oh u know how that age is)
We never paid attention rather ignore those special kids...today after so many years when i went to that special school for a little charity... i realized the contentment of those kids....
Even after their vital senses were absent they were so helpful..understanding...n satisfied with smiling faces...
To my surprise the adversity of the situation doesnt affect their level of  contentment!
Today i felt how fake we are....we have all shiny things but nt that smile of fulfillment...
Of all the things we have we go n fight for petty things..we never consider and recognize the value of things we hold..
Whatever was given to them they ate fully with no..nos n no left overs...n were so happy that we brought something for them...
They had no signs of  jealousy...no temptation...no negativity...just those brilliant faces with  warm smiles
Today i realized the importance of being alright and pay gratitude to God to give me an opportunity to live the life i want..full of gadgets...vehicles...n abundance...
Today i realized how blessed they are...they are away from worlds misery...
Today i felt so miserable that i cant carry the way they carry their smile..I m just so mesmerized with the way they deal their loss and the way we deal out nuisance little problems.
Their eyes were so clear n intentions were so pure...we should really learn from them..
Hats off to all the kids...very well behaved n i enjoyed giving them food...watching them talking in their sign language which had deeper impact than our audible ones..hope we be cognizant of the contentment which we have in our lives...

My own Emotional Turmoil

It actually takes me ages to get u..n u just forget n move on..
It nearly takes me an hour to think before calling you...n u just dnt pick up...
It just takes me few mins to throw tantrums on u....n u just grudge on it for days...
It merely takes a second to say hi...n u r so busy even for the minuscule of the second for it ...
It almost takes a whole night for me to cover up with the whole day of ignorance...n u r ready with ur lot again the next morning..
It takes a lot of courage of mine to speak my heart out...n u don't even listen half of it..
It seriously gets on my nerve when i loose u in between the conversation...n u r absolutely cool about it..
It takes years for ppl to settle down with each other n u r just running away with it in days...
It really hurts me the time u say u r not worth ..i dnt deserve u.....coz if i dnt deserve u ...i dnt deserve anything else in the world...
U have a heart of gold n attitude so bold....i wish i cud show the love for u i hold.....

Dil bawra

Ae dil bas hua ab....kyun guzarna chahta hai phir uss dard se...
Bas kar chalna har us rah per jisme hai chuppi aur tanhai...
Kyun tu uss disha hai jana chahta jaha har samay hain ek dutkaar...
Is jahan meh koi nahi samjhta na  bhawna naa pyaar....
Kar lo jitne bhi jatan...hota hai mushkil paana samaan...
Buzdil kitna hai dil ki darta hai ekaki se....aur phir chal padta hai uss dagar..jaha ka rasta hai dushvaar..
Apne har anubhav se yeh seekha hai humne ki naa doharana us dobaar..
Itna kuch ho jane per bhi iss pagal dil ko samjhana hai bekaaar...
Shikayaton ke silsilone aaj tak dia na koi faisla... ulta mushkil ho jata hai vyavhaar..
Aas per jeene se kuch hota nahi kyunki aas ka nahi koi paar..
Iss bhawnao ke bawandar meh itna fass jate hain ki bass karte reh jaate hai sahi samay ka intezaar...!

Ignore the pagalpan

Kyun meh kitna bhi kar lu kum padta hai...iss zindagi meh kuch achcha nahi lagta hai...har uss shaq, jisko apna manaa woh hi daga karta hai..iss kadar doob jaate hain pyaar dete hue...ki ubhar pana mushkil hota hai..mein hamesha tayaar aur woh kabhi fursat hi nahi hota hai....kyun dil kisi ko itna apna manta hai ki agla apne hisaab se meri zindagi mod jata hai....khadi hu tanha hamesha ki tarah...soch rahi hu zindagi ke hisaab meh kaha galti reh gayi....kya koi aisa insaan ya aisa samay aayega jab mujhe bhi woh samman haasil hoga..inn barisho ko keh diya hai meine ki na barse ki yeh to saal me ek baar aati hai...per humare dil ka saawan to kabhi khatam hi nahi hota hai...kabhi to koi aaye aur thaame haath aur kahe ki meh hu ab sab theek hoga..har us aas ko liye jeete hai har din....har raat kat ti hai us intezaar meh...kis se marzi lu...kis ko arzi du...sab kuch dhundla nazar aata hai...shaayad aisa koi din ho hi na...ya meri ichchaye hi kuch zyaada hai...dil meh aaye har ek tufaan apna hi ek sawaal chod jata hai..samjh nahi aata ki us se kaise ladu....mann kahi lagta hi nahi hai...kaash sab ruk jaye....tham jaye ...aawaz dheeme ho jayee...aur sab ek jhoke meh khatam ho jaye...pehle to sangeet se dil behlta tha...aajkal to uski bhi mujhe parwah nahi...kya karu kya nahi bas akelapan jhakjhod deta hai!!! Itna kuch hai mann meh...per koi puchta hi nahi ki mann meh kya hai....kabhi na socha tha ki aisa bhi din aayega ki insaan ki bajay iss kaagaz ko dil ka haal jataya jayega.....

Detaching Descendants...

However much we curse the laws of parenting...its the nature who has laid the rules...
Whether plants...animals or humans the nature has defined its way to a cycle from birth to detachment n finally death...
Whether the loaded trees bearing fruits...
Or a bird waiting for its chicks to fly....
Or an animal teaching its offspring to hunt..
Detachment is the way of life..which cannot be overseen...eventually everyone has to go thru this phase of life..
We in our culture still cant deal well with this process...
As the kids grow u are so well kneaded in them that u feel empty at this juncture...
Detachment is the hardest part of any life form....its hard to give away...to let go..
I have a long way to go for this detachment but i cn still feel the pain associated with it...but we cant deny the very laws of nature...as detachment is essential for progress and survival...

Hearts erased Feelings diminished

The current scenario forces me to think on the humanity vanished....
With thousands of ppl stuck in the recent tragedy of uttrakand....and the stories related
Never did the ppl going to a pilgrimage would have thought of such a disaster...
They say that God tests u on ur way to his place....that's why all the holy places are difficult to approach...
But after this tragedy i really think that its not the test he takes....its something we humans make....
He is everywhere ....we make it difficult n name it a pilgrimage...
I knw most of the religious ppl will defy my thought...but think about it..the laws of nature has to be balanced...river beds should be left alone..mountains should not be dug...
Of all the rescue operation this is amongst the top ones...with putting themselves in danger army  rescuing hundreds of ppl 24*7....
Its disappointing and disheartining that instead of helping as much as we can we r making it a political....n engineering issue....
People are robbing...stealing making lives worst of the people already stuck...
Have we really lost it....really we dnt have feelings...n humanity...its a shame on us ......
What will happen with that lil money...no one can make castles with that...its really painful to see the hearts n mind of the people...
Media is trying to make it officially political...leaders trying to cover it up with their crowded vip visits....
There are groups which has come up...to help but what can these few hundreds can do...
Why cant we make it simple and approaching without flabbergasting the whole issue...
At the end we can just help and leave the rest to nature...if death calls..it will call u even from ur air conditioned luxurious rooms...
A helicopter crashed....around a dozen or two killed while rescue.... that is sheer destiny....ppl meant to die will die..come what may...
I have so many examples of hearts erased...while stepping up in bus with my kiddo in one hand n luggage in another...but ppl will never offer a seat....never give way....specially in our country women n women with infants still fail to be catered.....
I cnt do anything but pity on such ppl....m surprised  whetherr they born with it or catch up with society around us....
The food packets did not reach the target ppl...the help cudnt reach the most effected..
Some news channel said that even the rescuers are falling prey to the tragedy n loosing their lives...God should not do that with somebody who save lives....in that case what wrong these pilgrims  have done...they were going for God's blessing only..
I wish this tragedy should have been taken up with more responsibility setting up the standards for any similar tragedies around the world...and raised a level up to compensate the humanity degraded!!!!

Coffee memories

The days go by but the memories remain still..
Today sitting at CCD i m recalling so  many coffee days...
Some rainy ...some windy....some sad...some happy...some while waiting...some thoughtful...
Whether waiting for someone special or thinking something worthwhile..
I have so much to pen down on this that if i start it will be a long list...
Coffee has been there with the bells on....of meetings..talks....decision...promises
A cup of coffee makes it up for everything!!!