Maa..

Maa tere bina kuch nahi achcha lagta yaha..
Na tere haathon ke garam fulke hai na aanchal ki thandi chaaon hai yaha..
Na teri daant ki bouchaar hai na hi pyaar bhari baahein hai yaha..
Yaad aatein hai woh bachpan ke din jab beparwah tha mera jahan
Na thi koi chinta..na hi koi bandish kyunki tum thi na maa waha...
Jo tumne di woh har ek seekh ka matlab aaj hai samajh aaya yaha..
Woh school se aaker bag phekna...woh har ek baat per tumse behas karna...woh naatak jo sirf tum hi jhel paati thi maa..
Bachpan se meri har choti cheez ko tumne hai sanjhoya... Chahe rona ho, chaahe zidd puri karani ho..chahe daddy ko manana ho...tum hi thi meri jaadu ki chadi waha..
Jab khud maa bana to jana ki kitna sangarsh kara hai har pal tumne maa...woh har ek raat jo tum ho jagi aur jo har woh din jab meine tumhe sataya par tumne kuch na kahaa..
Aaj bhi jab bhi hota hai kuch naya banana..ya hota hai dil ka bhoj utaarana...ya hoti hai koi salah ki zarurat, tum hi dikhai deti ho har jagaah..
Tumse hi hoti hai har ek ichcha puri aaj bhi...aur tum hi ho prerna meri zindagi ki..Kitna bhi shukriya karu tumhe woh kam hai...tumse achcha koi nahi aur mujhe garv hai ki tum ho MERI MAA...

Stop the Frantic Overdoing

Do you overdo things?

Stop...its 'the'word I want to learn. Not a single days go by when I don't push my limit and when I m not overdoing things. I want to stop and that to soon the things are going out of my hands and this overdoing is driving me crazy (crazier than I thought)
Having a partial OCD specially of cleanliness and arrangement of things with my 2 kids is like the cherry on the top so to say stop to myself in certain situations is dreadful therefore the overdoing follows! Phew!

So after summing up the conclusions of all my experiences of out and out overdoings I have made my list of stops (hope some of them helps you too)
1. Stop saying yes when you really don't want to- follow your mood and instinct
2. Stop agreeing to a particular thing if it is not on your priority list-You don't have to agree to everything and anything.
3. Stop pushing your limits and testing your body's endurance- relax
4.  Stop reviewing your decisions-They are perfect according to the time and situation you take them in
5. Stop thinking about the past and worrying about the future.
6. Stop pleasing the one who is not even close to important in your life-suit your convenience , everyone does that only
7. Stop over cleaning-just leave it noone is coming to assess and award you for the spic n span home.
8. Stop over friendliness- oh boy it just gives pain to your ownself because for the other person you just exist as an aquantaince.
9. Stop being your best-it just ruins the moment all the more! Be carefree and cool.
10. Stop entertaining nonsense- in any form whether talks, parties or pokes , you can't please everyone.
11. Stop being a perfectionist , however much you try you can't be (specially me with 2 kids)
12. Stop judging your self from the eyes of others - they themselves are doing the same for themselves.
13. Stop being guilty - whether about a day which din't go as planned, the mood swings, not being a good parent, not been able to concentrate or the feeling of being lost, not being able to workout...its just a phase and it happens with everyone.

Sometimes the art of saying no works but you have to master it to practice it . I am an amateur at this art, hence overdoing comes along, This overdoing hinders the personal growth, nature, relationships and unfortunately memories too.Having said that I really will try to inculcate  the above  to relax myself and make the most of my life making memories and having real fun😊.

The Unexpected Chakra

Have you ever found your desired things in unexpected places ? 

Have you ever came across something you were looking for, for a long time at times when you left the hope of even having it?

Have you strongly commited to someone when you thought you are not ready at all?

Have you really got connected with someone you thought was unapproachable? 

Have you found someone totally opposite to what you perceived them to be?

Have you recieved right things at wrong places?

I call these tiny miracles they happen to us everyday and specially at unexpected times to cheer us up and to keep up our hopes intact...making our days more worthy. Any time such a thing happens with me I become more positive towards my life , and it also signifies that life is good inspite of all that stress around.
The good part is that we don't have to wait for them they just flow through the day with various events  sometimes in daily chores when you put some spice by mistake but it gives you a different tasty flavour you never expected to taste..other times when by chance you find a long lost friend in another friend's list...or at times when you are really feeling lonely wanting someone by your side and a friend stops by to say hello!
Althought we hear this everyday but these tiny bits of miracles strongly indicates that expectations when kept low can do the trick to keep away from all the misery.  Next time you experience any of these take it as a stepping stone stop looking for things and start keeping your expectations low...then the real miracle will happen to you ....THE UNEXPECTED! which will change your way of looking at life and suddenly everything will give you joy and happiness.

The first hand second time MOMMY experience

Ok ok...I dnt recieve calls...I dont make calls...I m totally lost with my thoughts and uttetly forgetful because I am a new MOM! And its like becoming a first time Mumma all over again with bag full of tantrums and arms full of hugs.
The stork visited and gifted us our new bundle of joy...a baby boy! We waited for him for all 9 months..eagerly to cuddle and hug him for hours together..
Although my first born is 3.5 years old so the experience was not that old still this was like the first time ever again....its true you think since you have dealt with it ...its going to be much easier but every child is different and so is happening with us...
The nights seem longer and the days busier, we knew its not going to be easy and were fueled about the same from all the people  around..and it is tough and everyday is a new day with so much learning...to make the elder one comfortable and compatible with the baby...struggling with my own body..at the same time looking around the household chores and playing with my attention seeking preschooler!The most amusing thing being a mother is the fact that when I want to sleep the most my boys want to play the most...when I am free to play with them like while writing this now they are fast asleep....when I want to eat then only they remember their potty business...when I am very busy they seek my attention the most...as soon as I step in my shower one of them cries for no reason...when I am expecting to behave their best is where they test my patience...

Believe me its more than a handful and overwhelming , still worth it, worth the experience of watching them grow day by day...life is not personal anymore neither are the hobbies more engaging..so much to look forward to in a day that your stuff gets a setback. By the word your stuff I mean that that stuff can wait, and a lot of other things cannot .
Life has a new address...a new direction...a new challenge and there is so much to learn in this thankless stay at home mom's job. I am doing it for myself and these kiddos of mine...they say that early 5 years of child's life is very crucial and fudamental for their brain's architecture , it directly impacts their personal and social behaviour...so I m trying to put whatever I have in me to shape them..
The warmth, the gurgles, the smile, the cuddles are totally worth it although both of them are giving me a heck of a time...but at the end of it everything is upto my heart's content...Absolutely thrilled and loving this first hand second experience of mine.

*Respect my space*

Know me or don't, respect my space...
However much you care about me...there are some decisions which only I can make..
There are times I want to cry...let me cry..it might soothe my pain
There are times I want to hibernate...let me be ...it might sort my mind..
There are times I want to to go on a shopping spree...let me do the retail therapy. ..it might bring a smile on my face..
There are times I want to be crazy...let me have the moment of madness...it might bring me nearer to the child in my heart..
There are times when I want to be quiet...let me zip up...it might put on peace to my inner ghosts..
There are times I want to write...let me pen down...it might help to regain myself...
There are times I want to make a point ...let me make one...it might rest my wandering mind...
There are times I want to runaway...let me walk a mile....it might stop an ongoing arguement...
There are times I want to talk to you..let me talk...it might end my deepest fears.
There are times I want to fight...let me quarrel...it might put an end to my dispair..
There are times I want to watch the stars on the beach...let me catch a glimpse of them...it might  relieve me from a stressful day...
There are times I want to just be with you ...be with me...it might make my day...
There are times I don't want to be judged..spare me...it might change my point of view for you...
There are times I want to be in the past...let me recall....it might remind me what I actually am...

SOS - Unwanted Advices

Disclaimer: Only for the unwanted advisors in my life

Ok...so however much you ignore , you are ought to recieve an advice from someone or the other on something or the other..I am not saying advices are not good, they are fairly good and sometimes a headturner too, I look forward to it being the youngest in my family but I would love to get it from people I know, or from people I ask for it!

The best free gift anyone on this earth can give you are the "ADVICES" ( I am so done with this word). The most annoying part is I have got advices from almost all sorts of people even from strangers ....from my house help lady...from people I don't know in the lift...from the people I have not seen before on the road..from the distant relatives I had never ever met....from a friend who never keeps in touch with my life exactly ( technically not a friend anymore) ...I am sure most of us face this problem of unwilling diving in this ocean of unwanted advices..

Do you think the kind of people giving away the advices mentioned above really ( I mean really) give you a worthwhile chunk of information... without the knowledge of the background, lifestyle, my way of living, or for that matter what kind of a person I actually am!

The irony is there are times you just want people around you ( dearr ones) to listen...to absorb your emotions without being judgemental and giving away the advices. ..just a "lISTENER". The issue might be silly or i might i have a solution all ready for it, but i just want to pour it out my heart and mind..I m expecting a positive vibe and that it to it.But alas...

OK! Taken you must have crossroads with a similar situation and you kind of have a hold on it, but I am a different person with different opinions , how can I use the same strategy to overcome the same situation being altogether a different person...and frankly even you will not do the same  strategy again if it came on you....simply because of the reason that you learn everytime with every experience, and keep the pointers ready to avoid if they come next time...

Noone can expect anyone to behave the same as they did in their time of crisis..ya guidance is definitely seeked and thats how advices come into the picture..Now you would say its on you how you take that advice whether you want to keep or chuck it away, but words have such an impression that even if we want to chuck it away our extra sensitive mind keeps it in some corner stored as an information which always diverts us in a negative horizon...

Advices are welcomed but from the people who know me from in and out rest however much you claim to know me I am changing everyday , I am not the person Iike I was even the last year. Finally at the end i firmly believe that one has to walk in one's own shoes with their own feet gathering one's own strength after determining their  own destiny in their own circumstances!

The last dusk of 2014

Again the clock is ticking....
Another moment of goodbye...
A new year to start with...
Lot of moments on standby...

My wats app is flooded with people saying sorry and thank u for whatever they have done in 2014... and also advices of all sorts on how to start the new year....what to enjoy the best and neglect the worst. Phew!

People who were not even the part of my life in 2014 have also texted me regarding the way to live...thanks to whats app otherwise people would have literally faded from our lives!  But on rethinking I came across a thought of why all concerns at the end of anything when its the time to depart?  Realisation only sunks in with the end ...even self actualisation for that matter. On the last dusk of 2014 we are guilty..sorry and what not about the damn year however as the night will fall the  party is definitely going to be on (what an irony)

Of whatever promises and resolution people make for the new year doesnt last till the end of January itself because we know its a beginning and we have ample of time for all of that clutter, soon it becomes a habit, the year flies with the conclusion of sorrys and thankyous to everyone at the last dusk of the year.
I am not being offensive..I love such wishes  and messages from friends and acquaintances but I have a heart filled with remorse for a lot of things and excited about a few too with this last dusk of the scraming year.

Gathering the thoughts hustling in my mind and a bag of mixed feeling attached along for 2014,I hope that the dawn of the new year brings miracle..fulfill wishes and proves the best for each one of us. The resolutions you are sticking to should stay with you till the year end ,what about me ?  The only resolution I  want to make for myself  is  to stay happy and connected with my loved ones always:) Cheers to 2015...