Of crazy parenting days

Sitting in my living room besides my favourite window with a cup of coffee and a dusty day (part of being in a middle east country)not much minutes have passed since i put down my infant to sleep and sent the elder one to school..its the best time to buy for myself..it is a golden period  of silence and melancholy, apparently the only time when my brain works!
Pondering about how the life's trending...how crazy we have become and what mad house are we raising...questioning my own parenting style...n anxious about the time which is flying so fast...so much to teach and imbibe...n they are growing too fast.
So much to do with the kids that a day seems less although the moms of our generation no longer are dedicated, devoted and sacrificing like the previous generation moms. Icing on cake is the multiple gadgetry available to keep us all the more restless n pointblank thus giving a setback to the parenting style. I think thats why the babies also are packed in the womb with the same swiping and touch style,they respond so quickly. Anyways the constant question of being a good parent or coping up with the round of advices all over the place is tedious.
I have come across a lot of parenting articles where they give you the whole gyan of how to do and what not to do,when i was having my first one i was swearing by each one of those but now with my second one i have reached to a point where i want keep it really simple and instinctive..
Their are many new parents like us out there who feel miserable not being able to follow the so called ways...to soothe...to put them to bed...to make them burp...to potty train...to wean off and what not. So try this out next time you feel miserable...be simple and go by your instincts. You know your baby the best from day one...not all babies are same and the standardization is troubling!
Wean when you feel assured by the outside nutrition not when people tell you to,potty train when the child is ready not when you are pressurised to teach...let them take the bottle till they dont learn to sip..just go with the flow and let the baby be a baby!
Your baby tells you everything its just how do you decipher the indication.Keep a schedule,keep them close to your taste (food),keep them warm,trust your instincts and when in doubts choose your children rest everything can be chosen  later. Stay in tune with those articles too but don't swear by them...don't forget its not  science just the affection keeps it good and going.

Regret Nothing

Why to regret
For the things which you never got to hold
They were things of past which you desired
But they didn't mean to fill your empty mould..
Sometimes we find something or someone which matches our needs..
Nonetheless all glitters are not gold!!
Spend your time wisely with your fantasies
They were never yours and they can never be
The cravings have an unprecedent nature
The more you yearn the more you are bowled
Forgiveness is a rare phenomenon which very a few practice
With a grudge held hard at the heart
They drag it too far increasing manifold..
Regrets hold no past and future tense but only present is what it knows
That too with the irony of holding the most memorable moments and a story untold
Its passes away with the matter of time
The desire looses it taint n flutters away becoming old
Carry as less burden of regrets as you can in life
It overshadows the best of you and the 100 percent which you could behold
Experience, smile, move on...as change is the only constant
Mold with the situation,grow with time, flex with the surroundings for a stronger foothold.

Image Courtsey:Pintrest

Live free ❤

With a room full of so called society or people how often can we be ourselves...our real selves and not what the people around us want us to be..? Always worrying about our image potrayal..our should be's...our right ways...our deceptive  good manners !
This society being judgemental finishes the game before it even starts, the rules of this game is simple- it says to suffer to keep the other people happy. If you follow this by ignoring your ownself you will be epic and unbeatable.
Okay! I agree we need people around to survive being a social animal but not on the cost of our own inconvinience... we need company to cherish, celebrate, compassion and comprehend and not  for pleasing some people who don't even bother about you.Anyways what standards are we talking about and who is there to test it; everyone has flaws and hence the fake and fancy outer shield becomes important.
Society is made by group of individuals who are like us, we are the one who are  deciding the ways of life and list of acceptables  of unacceptables. God didn't gave us our manual book along because none of us are same ....neither we are machines, we are just people with our respective genres, when we can't judge colours as to why they are light or deep, when we can't judge trees to be green and water to be blue how can we judge different  people onto some humanly created standards, rituals, superstitions. We have accepted all the things around us in the nature as they are because we know we cannot do anything  about it..its the way the nature naturally is! Then why not people? Why not accept them as they are?
Our society has meagred to an extent of competition thanks to our humanly created categories of brands and non brands! The base of which is so undulating and vague because what is best in ones eyes need not be best in another one. I fail to understand this whole criterion where anyone who is being himself is ripped apart on the verge of society's acceptance.
Life is given as a one time lottery ticket to encash and enjoy. If we start living every moment without slogging ourselves to please people around we will surely make memories rather than just walking through life. It will indeed create some misunderstanding in the beginning but gradually people will accept you as you are .

Live and let live

Maa..

Maa tere bina kuch nahi achcha lagta yaha..
Na tere haathon ke garam fulke hai na aanchal ki thandi chaaon hai yaha..
Na teri daant ki bouchaar hai na hi pyaar bhari baahein hai yaha..
Yaad aatein hai woh bachpan ke din jab beparwah tha mera jahan
Na thi koi chinta..na hi koi bandish kyunki tum thi na maa waha...
Jo tumne di woh har ek seekh ka matlab aaj hai samajh aaya yaha..
Woh school se aaker bag phekna...woh har ek baat per tumse behas karna...woh naatak jo sirf tum hi jhel paati thi maa..
Bachpan se meri har choti cheez ko tumne hai sanjhoya... Chahe rona ho, chaahe zidd puri karani ho..chahe daddy ko manana ho...tum hi thi meri jaadu ki chadi waha..
Jab khud maa bana to jana ki kitna sangarsh kara hai har pal tumne maa...woh har ek raat jo tum ho jagi aur jo har woh din jab meine tumhe sataya par tumne kuch na kahaa..
Aaj bhi jab bhi hota hai kuch naya banana..ya hota hai dil ka bhoj utaarana...ya hoti hai koi salah ki zarurat, tum hi dikhai deti ho har jagaah..
Tumse hi hoti hai har ek ichcha puri aaj bhi...aur tum hi ho prerna meri zindagi ki..Kitna bhi shukriya karu tumhe woh kam hai...tumse achcha koi nahi aur mujhe garv hai ki tum ho MERI MAA...

Stop the Frantic Overdoing

Do you overdo things?

Stop...its 'the'word I want to learn. Not a single days go by when I don't push my limit and when I m not overdoing things. I want to stop and that to soon the things are going out of my hands and this overdoing is driving me crazy (crazier than I thought)
Having a partial OCD specially of cleanliness and arrangement of things with my 2 kids is like the cherry on the top so to say stop to myself in certain situations is dreadful therefore the overdoing follows! Phew!

So after summing up the conclusions of all my experiences of out and out overdoings I have made my list of stops (hope some of them helps you too)
1. Stop saying yes when you really don't want to- follow your mood and instinct
2. Stop agreeing to a particular thing if it is not on your priority list-You don't have to agree to everything and anything.
3. Stop pushing your limits and testing your body's endurance- relax
4.  Stop reviewing your decisions-They are perfect according to the time and situation you take them in
5. Stop thinking about the past and worrying about the future.
6. Stop pleasing the one who is not even close to important in your life-suit your convenience , everyone does that only
7. Stop over cleaning-just leave it noone is coming to assess and award you for the spic n span home.
8. Stop over friendliness- oh boy it just gives pain to your ownself because for the other person you just exist as an aquantaince.
9. Stop being your best-it just ruins the moment all the more! Be carefree and cool.
10. Stop entertaining nonsense- in any form whether talks, parties or pokes , you can't please everyone.
11. Stop being a perfectionist , however much you try you can't be (specially me with 2 kids)
12. Stop judging your self from the eyes of others - they themselves are doing the same for themselves.
13. Stop being guilty - whether about a day which din't go as planned, the mood swings, not being a good parent, not been able to concentrate or the feeling of being lost, not being able to workout...its just a phase and it happens with everyone.

Sometimes the art of saying no works but you have to master it to practice it . I am an amateur at this art, hence overdoing comes along, This overdoing hinders the personal growth, nature, relationships and unfortunately memories too.Having said that I really will try to inculcate  the above  to relax myself and make the most of my life making memories and having real fun😊.

The Unexpected Chakra

Have you ever found your desired things in unexpected places ? 

Have you ever came across something you were looking for, for a long time at times when you left the hope of even having it?

Have you strongly commited to someone when you thought you are not ready at all?

Have you really got connected with someone you thought was unapproachable? 

Have you found someone totally opposite to what you perceived them to be?

Have you recieved right things at wrong places?

I call these tiny miracles they happen to us everyday and specially at unexpected times to cheer us up and to keep up our hopes intact...making our days more worthy. Any time such a thing happens with me I become more positive towards my life , and it also signifies that life is good inspite of all that stress around.
The good part is that we don't have to wait for them they just flow through the day with various events  sometimes in daily chores when you put some spice by mistake but it gives you a different tasty flavour you never expected to taste..other times when by chance you find a long lost friend in another friend's list...or at times when you are really feeling lonely wanting someone by your side and a friend stops by to say hello!
Althought we hear this everyday but these tiny bits of miracles strongly indicates that expectations when kept low can do the trick to keep away from all the misery.  Next time you experience any of these take it as a stepping stone stop looking for things and start keeping your expectations low...then the real miracle will happen to you ....THE UNEXPECTED! which will change your way of looking at life and suddenly everything will give you joy and happiness.

The first hand second time MOMMY experience

Ok ok...I dnt recieve calls...I dont make calls...I m totally lost with my thoughts and uttetly forgetful because I am a new MOM! And its like becoming a first time Mumma all over again with bag full of tantrums and arms full of hugs.
The stork visited and gifted us our new bundle of joy...a baby boy! We waited for him for all 9 months..eagerly to cuddle and hug him for hours together..
Although my first born is 3.5 years old so the experience was not that old still this was like the first time ever again....its true you think since you have dealt with it ...its going to be much easier but every child is different and so is happening with us...
The nights seem longer and the days busier, we knew its not going to be easy and were fueled about the same from all the people  around..and it is tough and everyday is a new day with so much learning...to make the elder one comfortable and compatible with the baby...struggling with my own body..at the same time looking around the household chores and playing with my attention seeking preschooler!The most amusing thing being a mother is the fact that when I want to sleep the most my boys want to play the most...when I am free to play with them like while writing this now they are fast asleep....when I want to eat then only they remember their potty business...when I am very busy they seek my attention the most...as soon as I step in my shower one of them cries for no reason...when I am expecting to behave their best is where they test my patience...

Believe me its more than a handful and overwhelming , still worth it, worth the experience of watching them grow day by day...life is not personal anymore neither are the hobbies more engaging..so much to look forward to in a day that your stuff gets a setback. By the word your stuff I mean that that stuff can wait, and a lot of other things cannot .
Life has a new address...a new direction...a new challenge and there is so much to learn in this thankless stay at home mom's job. I am doing it for myself and these kiddos of mine...they say that early 5 years of child's life is very crucial and fudamental for their brain's architecture , it directly impacts their personal and social behaviour...so I m trying to put whatever I have in me to shape them..
The warmth, the gurgles, the smile, the cuddles are totally worth it although both of them are giving me a heck of a time...but at the end of it everything is upto my heart's content...Absolutely thrilled and loving this first hand second experience of mine.