Saturday, October 21, 2017

Parenting - The second time

When my first one was born i was on the cloud 9 you know that excitement to become the parents for the very first time, you want be the perfect with all the firsts .Starting from feeding them till umpteen number of hours, reading story books,making them brush twice,teaching them all the GK they can like shapes ..numbers..letters,getting them all kind of toys,loading them with the newest fashion, you know like you want to be a perfect parent.
Then after you complete all the cliched cycles of potty training, breastfeeding, terrible twos ,teething and cleaning all the pukes and poops in between as you come out of the first time mommy depression ,thats when you think that the your first born needs a company and then you get into this vicious circle of parenting the second time.. and believe me there lies a trap!
My second one came when my first one  was 3.3 years old, and it was damn tough for me...although many people do in a much lesser difference than this but God only knows how they manage... so now i had two little boy bunches with my handsful i set on a brigade called motherhood..by the way the word 'Mother' has an army on its own...where somehow you get super powers of Hindu Goddesses like spinning on your feet around the kids with 2 hands working like 10 extended hands in one single day around varied tasks..
When my second one arrived we were on cloud 9 again....it felt complete and enticing .First few months were like a honeymoon ...i  loved to cuddle and snuggle the baby...because i knew that the time will fly and he will outgrow my lap...as the time went i  learnt so much ; my second one is  a much difficult child...he would regress to sleep..eat and pacify. But that stage also passed on with a hope of a better tommorow..
Then came a time when my first one started his preschool and the younger one started walking it was a chaos with whom to handle first and then you learn the art of attending them on single turn basis...but come on my elder one was just 4 how could i expect him to be that understanding but he did...he somehow got matured by the face of the situations...
As the time went my elder one was 5 and the younger one was 1.5 there were different hardships but we had fun as a team! My younger one was teething...trying to talk...trying to eat  on his own while my elder one was learning languages (read and write) at school..i could somehow manage to catch up with my nap and other interests when my younger one used to sleep ( which was hardly an hour with a gap of every 10 min in between to put him to sleep all over again) and i learnt how to manage ...my time and theirs...believe me even 24 hours seem less to me even now..
So today my elder one is 6 and the younger one  is 2.9 and the challenges have multiplied now i know what it is to be a mother of two boys...fighting for the same toy , tv remote (switching between baby tv and Nickelodeon) and numerous other things ...where you cant choose side and the gyan of sharing doesn't suffice...but i get more time of my own as the younger one goes to a play school but he still keeps me on toes..his cuddles are amazing, the way he just circles around me the whole day is flattering and annoying at the same time...
There are days of disagreement, scolding, frustration,wearout but when they both are not around even for 2 hours i miss them alot..they are more of my buddies than my boys..everyday i am learning patience, compassion ,being a listener,a referee ,a pacifier and still holding my senses together at the end of the day..watching them sleep brings a smile on my face with a full day's flashback.
But i must confess that the second time parenting is much of a cheating than the first one..the efforts are definitely less..the dedication is reduced because you have two to look forward too ... but the younger siblings still are always smarter,they learn quicker and  know their way out and the irony is you know it as a parent but still you don't do much about it..you just pass it on...being a more stronger ,smarter parent.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Seeking Validation

Among the whistling crowd i was standing and looking for a familiar face .. a face which i can recognize and smille to ...either someone from the past kept intact in the memory lanes or someone from recent present who knows me to the best of my behaviour...
Thats how we seek people in life... in the bustling streets if we bump into meeting someone we know the smile just takes the whole space...thats how important people are to us .
From the people we don't seek for familiarity but for validation! The things which we are doing becomes much much more worthwhile with the validation of others that our own self confidence gets sideline. . Validation comes in existence in so many ways whether from society,family or friends.
Seeking a companionship is another kind of it...its like validating our existence...they say you should love the person who loves you, who accepts you as you are , who sets you free all this is nothing more than a validation to oneself that you are the best and we love you as you are (thats how selfish the human kind is)
We are always looking for our type of people...people who fine tune with us...with same wavelengths like ours again basically for the validation where you are not challenged for the way you are instead boasted and praised for what you are... in friendships its easy to manage this arrangement but in relationships you have to balance and those non validating moments create rifts and nonabsolving fights...thats how fondly we seek validation.
A mere acquaintance in a complete new place makes us feel like someone close enough to function we are more confident in that space and all the insecurities vanishes.. we wait for the validation of being called nice...beautiful...slim...sexy...sharp...crazy...hep and the list goes on thanks to the social media platform to make it even worse for us..and one of the recent examples for validation are Sarahah where anonymity validates us even more..but the exciting part of validation is it makes us believe much more than what we are.
The tight schedules of today's culture makes the physical presence impossible therefore  these social platforms are gaining more importance thats the only way we get the validation from people.
Why for our existences and choices we look for acceptance? Why can't we set ourselves free and leave it on the the outcome to decide? Why we want people to review us from time to time? Be yourself and be free and see how it turns your life around..even if its good for noone but you, you will be glad to do it for your own self!
Seeking validation is still fine but just be dependent on it for every decision or self review can be discouraging and harmful. Know yourself and beam about it and don't wait for any kind of validation to happen for yourself...because come what may its you who knows yourself the best not the validation which is coming your way..

Friday, December 2, 2016

Overboard with emotions!

My amplifying emotions has been always a problem with me..in all my relationships on this planet i always have given more than the other person could give...Had it ever happen to you where you have been standing only on the sending end?
How much can you give and if you don't recieve the same frequency how much can you emit ?
In similar situations the frequency dies a slow death because you are constantly trying to match two things a) expectation of that relationship in your head and b) the frequency of the other person and whilst the process your own frequency changes.
I always indulge more emotionally like a fool waiting to be made fun of ! After suffering also it didn't change my intensity...it hurts when you are totally in it and the other person just takes you lightly...i think because you become too much available , too much available to talk , to text as you keep the person on priority and not because you are free and unoccupied.The other person doesn't realise it and takes you for granted...and i hate this part!
Why doesnt you recieve as much as you give? When i can invest my lengths n breadths of emotions in a relationship , why not recieve the same passion. I know people are different an blah blah . But the simple rule of life says - what you give is what you get !  What is the use of Karma if it gives it back to you in form of other people , and not in that particular relation?I feel a relationship is  futile if it is not intense!
So the theories of may be you weren't meant to be together or it was not suppose to last also doesnt solves my curiosity! If you can recieve why can't you give back ? Either stop being on the recieving end at all or just respond! People all their lives can't decide what are they looking for , when they can't identify they even loose what they already have.
Life doesn't gives second chances... always value what you get whether it is small or big but the other person is investing emotionally,you might not fall for it initially but eventually you will realise that this is what you have been seeking. So if you ever get lucky recieving the mountains of emotions and love , don't fear to climb it ...every step of it will be worth your time.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Of Passion and Self love

And that's how I keep coming back to  you , with different speeds but dire need of love. The more I think about you the more I feel I loose myself , its like entering the world of illusion .. of fantasies .. of dreams where whatever I desire I can achieve with your presence. The passion which brings us together bind us tight has an address of its own residing in our hearts unleashed.

The first time I was without you, I couldn't find a way on my own , I was like a phoenix which couldn't resurrect, that's how much I depended on you, but you never realized the madness I carried in my heart and soul for you. There were ways to define my love for you but I hardly could find words or synergize with your energy.

The second time I was without of you ..I was strong, strong enough to hide my weakness without you, I understood that by this time you are used to the fact that I can live without you. You took me lightly again and I broke down to pieces in my heart, but I stood strong thankfully you taught that very well to me. 

Then again a time came when we met , we met fiercely in the same tangent this time procrastinating the going away time this time. Everything looks same now as the first time with you and I passionately in love , the only thing remains changed that I am unaffected by  your behavior , I am strong in my heart and mind. I am no longer afraid of you leaving neither do I am refraining to keep myself away from you.Because I know somewhere in my mind that although our love  is  persistent but still we were never on the same page and you will still go away.

So here I am all strong headed, unaffected and self dependent , I realized in the due course that you don't need anyone else to assure you or praise you all along the way and you can do it pretty well yourself . We do get dependent on relationships in life and they become our main reasons to be stay alive but believe  me striving for self happiness is the only thing which will help us in long run and makes us keep going.

Pic courtesy : Instagram

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Grecian Memories -Travel Diaries


I recently happened to travel Greece for a short holiday with my family and it happened to be an ecstactic trip for all the research we have done for the whole month, it felt as of we saw practically all of Greece online only...I so wanted to write this post not only to  highlight my itenary and all the good things we saw there for the reference but also to keep my experiences safely in words to which I can come back to whenever I want. It was a 8 day trip so we tried to cover as much as we can to see the beautiful islands of Greece.
There are approximately 1500 islands in Greece few of them are very popular and touristy like Corfu , Crete, Mykonos ,.Santorini , Rhodes to name a few! We covered Athens, Mykonos , Santorini and a day cruise of 3 islands.

DAY 1 : We straight away headed to National Archealogical Muesuem in the morning as we were staying in central athens with an air bnb accomodation it was not more than 10 min of walk,it had every thing about the greek civilization and everything they have kept safe and sound...the sagas of their superheroes.
After lunch we headed to a Monstriaki station through Metroit was a hep place with a proximity to Acropolis in rear view to the streets with cafes and old houses on the side leading to the acropolis muesuem and the Acropolis. The walk was beautiful in the middle of the town, the cobbled streets, the famous plaka stairs.Metro is quite easy to use and convinient too with 3 lines in working it makes travelling alot comfortable. We visited the Acropolis muesuem too and after dinner and a delicious homemade famous gelato we headed back to the apartment.
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DAY 2: We were inclined towards this day cruise where they take you to show 3 -4 island in a day ,we opted for three islands in a day called Hydra , Porus and Aegena. The islands were beautiful and exotic ...silent yet so much exhorbitant. Porus is very famous for its greek yogurt icecream. Aegena is very famous for its pistachio groves as it is the biggest producer of pistachio and houses a Monastry which is famous all over the world, we even  tried the authentic sweets of almond whose taste is still on my tongue.



 

DAY 3 : It was a lovely bright day and so perfect to see Athens...so we took a metro to Syntagma square where we saw the grand ceremony of changing of guards which happens everyhour for 24 hrs right outside the Parliament ,from there we boarded a hop on and off bus for the city sightseeing whose ticket validates for 24 hours....the city has a historical importance and whether it was Acropolis or the temple of Zeus the monuments had a story of their own. The Panatheniac stadium hosted the first Olymics of the Modern world , its a breathtaking stadium and it stand so tall and magnificient tell the glories of the  athelets. All in all an eventful day which ended beautifully with the shopping and dining in beautiful Plaka area..that is a must visit if you ever happen to travel to Athens.


 
DAY 4: It was an island hopping day and we headed to Mykonos for a  day in a  ship called Sea jets..it was a three hour  ride ,smooth enough..Mykonos was a beautiful place like Heaven on earth  ...an island on the hill with white washed houses,and weather so beautiful we checked in our hotel with perfect view of the sea after resting for a while we headed to the car hire shop,hiring a car comes pretty handy , and you easily get a car of your choice and convinience. Off we went to the windmills the parking was right behind the windmills, as it was a shoulder season it was damn windy. The famous windmills are one of its kind and defintely a worth to watch,its recommended to go in daylight to get photos clicked. Then we headed to the coffee shops 5 min walking from the windmills adjascent to sea offering a beautiful sight of the sunset. Just behind the coffee place was the much talked about Mykonos town...and it took my breath away with narrow cobbled streets, whitewashed shops with blue ,red and green gates were selling mostly souviniers and fashion material. Even if you are not intrested in the shopping this place is a must visit to experience the feel of it as it offers many restaurants too we had an authentic Italian food consisting of handmade pastas. I wanted to stay long but the time came when we had to leave and we headed back to the hotel. Personally i felt that it would have been better if we stayed 2 days in mykonos for the kind of place that was, although the beach clubs were all closed as it was October but  if it was summers the beach clubs like Tropicana and Scandinavia would have been in full business. Don't miss these popular clubs when you visit Mykonos.


 

DAY 5: It was another island hopping day and we went to Santorini the most shooted island of Greece. The Sea jet ride was terrible this time because the sea waves were high and in full swing because of the high tide, I won't recommend the Sea jet ride if the ocean is  having a high tide. After reaching Santorini we stayed in Perissa , we explored the Black beach of Perissa like Perivolos,Kamari which are famous for there black small pebble beaches,with hills in the background it also has cafes and restaurants around for satieting the apetite. We tried the stuffed Pita bread, Greek salad , Dtakos which are the famous greek foods.

 

DAY 6: We hired a Car and explored Thira (Fira) ,its like a downtown market with all the shops and the cafes , happening place!  we had Gyros for lunch that day , its an authentic sandwich made of pita and filled with falafel , meat etc just like shewarma but definitely tasted different after a while we even did a wine tasting tour in a Bar it actually gave me a lot of insight being a non drinker. Then we headed to a cliff walk from Fira to Imerovigli (name of a village), so this cliff walks extends till Oia but we did till Imerovigli as we were going to Oia the next day. The walk was magnificient with the view of the ocean , cliff,whitewashed houses; attached to Fira is a village called Firostefani and then comes Imerovigli so the walk ended with a sunset we witnessed at Imerovigli. The walk uphill was worth every step and its a must do if you visit Santorini.





Day 7: It was the day we visited another beach called the red beach of Akrotiri .
If was a red cliff with red sand and absoloutely clear water, the sight was rare and fulfilling then we headed for the town of Akrotiri where we visited La Ponta a 800 year old Venetian castle which is restored privately,where musical programmes happen. It was on the top of the village crossing the authentic street and houses of the locals. Then we headed for the last tip of the island where the lighthouse was located but as we found it too far we just stopped by on a local and traditional restaurant with authentic Greek food and we relished every bite . We came back to the hotel and checked out as we headed for a cave house experience in Oia. The Cave house in Oia was a different experience with the rooms built in cave style even the bathrooms..Oia has lot of hotels with cave style room , it is very scenic and beautiful place and a must visit to enjoy the view of the cliff from these Cave houses. In the evening we explore Oia, it is one of the poshest places in Santorini with high end restaurants and shops. We finished the day with photographs and an Italian cuisine last but not the least we tried Ouzo the very renowned drink of the Greek island.


 
Day 8: As we flew back to Athens to catch our flight back home we had a lay over for 5 hours so we thought to check out the Attica zoological park ,there is a nice service on the airport called care4bag which stores your luggage according to the height for a specific period of time. We stored our luggage there and saw the zoo, the zoo was fairly huge with multiple animals ,reptiles,birds,fishes of all types , I was pretty impressed with the dolphin show and the way they layed out the whole zoo. My little ones had a great time there and i would recommend it if you are visiting Athens with kids.
And finally it was time to head back home with a mind full of memories and heart full on the brim. It will always be one of my memorable trips.



Friday, September 23, 2016

Time and Again

Time and again i thank God that I met u...
Time and again i feel lucky that our paths crossed
Time and again i pinch myself to make sure if its real...that i have you..
Time and again i miss you ...like a small child wanting to wrap you in her arms...
Time and again how i wish if i could spend each second of my life with you...
Time and again i try to hold myself to not to over react in your absence
Time and again i fail because i don't want towaste our time together..
Time and again i feel miserable after speaking so much also i can't express what you are to me...
Time and again your simplicity takes me by an awe...your control makes me want more of u...n ofcourse your love to look forward to..
Time and again i fall in love with u over n over...
Time and again i become sure that u r the only one whom i was looking for...and there is nothing more i could ever ask for..

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Slow down

Slow down a bit there is to much to go for
Slow down a bit and enjoy it all
In no time everything will change
And later you will regret it all
Slow down a bit its not a race to finish
Slow down a bit this phase will also diminish You will wonder where did the years ran away
I was young just a while ago making the moments fray..
Slow down a bit to look at your body sometimes Slow down a bit and make it worthwhile Thrash the ego, wear a smile, leave your mark in everyones heart
Because you know soon it will all become past Slow down a bit make time for your family
Slow down a bit dont let the stress sway
A life so small to live is running away so far away We are holding up the grudges to make our speed slow and fray
Miss it or make most of it is the option we have to get away
Slow down a bit to travel to explore the world so big
Slow down a bit to relish a 5 course meal!
Spend the time with people you love
Or follow your heart's passion with a great deal Slow  down a bit there you are running too fast Slow down a bit there is much more to life than only that!