The last dusk of 2014

Again the clock is ticking....
Another moment of goodbye...
A new year to start with...
Lot of moments on standby...

My wats app is flooded with people saying sorry and thank u for whatever they have done in 2014... and also advices of all sorts on how to start the new year....what to enjoy the best and neglect the worst. Phew!

People who were not even the part of my life in 2014 have also texted me regarding the way to live...thanks to whats app otherwise people would have literally faded from our lives!  But on rethinking I came across a thought of why all concerns at the end of anything when its the time to depart?  Realisation only sunks in with the end ...even self actualisation for that matter. On the last dusk of 2014 we are guilty..sorry and what not about the damn year however as the night will fall the  party is definitely going to be on (what an irony)

Of whatever promises and resolution people make for the new year doesnt last till the end of January itself because we know its a beginning and we have ample of time for all of that clutter, soon it becomes a habit, the year flies with the conclusion of sorrys and thankyous to everyone at the last dusk of the year.
I am not being offensive..I love such wishes  and messages from friends and acquaintances but I have a heart filled with remorse for a lot of things and excited about a few too with this last dusk of the scraming year.

Gathering the thoughts hustling in my mind and a bag of mixed feeling attached along for 2014,I hope that the dawn of the new year brings miracle..fulfill wishes and proves the best for each one of us. The resolutions you are sticking to should stay with you till the year end ,what about me ?  The only resolution I  want to make for myself  is  to stay happy and connected with my loved ones always:) Cheers to 2015...

My questions to mankind.

While I was reading a story to my little one yesterday...a tear trickled down my eyes realising the agony of the mothers whose kids never returned home! Never did they thought that the kid will never come back , nor did anyone imagined even in their dreams to such massacre to happen . 

The pain is unbearable and no pain is equivalent to the pain of loosing a child...a child whom you have raised and watched over for more than dozen years.
An infant whom we teach how to walk and talk...the toddler whom we teach how to paint and write....the kid whom we teach all the manners and the way of life..the teenager whom we guide how to imbibe and shape your life...all the stages, hopes, desires gets buried in a single day

Its like the way you have lived all your life for someone and that someone is just gone (vanished) much before hos time with so many things unsaid and undone leaving no motive behind for parents to live.The pain in the hearts of the parents are strongly felt and empathised with.

Now how they wish of not sending the kid to the school that day....or the parents whose kids were sick and were at home must be thankful to God a million times. My heart goes out to every mother qho had experienced a loss with a magnitude so great like this....as their world is shaken up and destroyed.

Past ghosts are revisited everytime with more brutal tragedy, but till what lenght can this barbarism can be taken ?  Its not a tragedy to a single nation but to the whole world, a display of how incompetent we are in terms of safeguarding the citizens or for that matter our mother earth.

What has happened to the humanity...what's wrong with the basic rules. There is no place in the world who don't give prefrence to women and children safety. But why is that prefrence is only talked about and never used or handled ?Why as nations we are so weak that anyone can harm the softer part of the society?Why can't we build a carefree world where kids get their share of  childhood.. adolescence and youth?
Why can't we make a safer planet for women to trot around the globe without being feared of nuisance? Why can't we avoid such onslaught to the innocents?

These are my questions to the mankind as a whole and not to a particular nation...region or religion. Why can't such incidents be taken up much above as the problem of the world instead of the particular nation's emergency ! Why can't these incidents just stop or resolved forever...

RIP: All the little and pure souls #Peshawar attack

Do you standup for yourself?

We as human beings have been so closely knit with the society and people around that sometimes we forget our own identity ..likes...desires..freedom.
.opnions...choices...even the daily frame of things!

Being emotional and not that strong headed I fear everyday of being diminished, I fear to loose out my voice behind the opinions, I fear to be numb and mentally blocked where my mind is driven my other people's decision. I have to constantly remind myself to stand by my beliefs and choices.

We are always taught to live an ideal life and not what we wish to live, and this notion is imbibed so well in us that as a parent I expect the same from my kid, n off late I realised that I am scraping off my son's own personality but expecting idealism from him. I am now trying to let him be what he is ofcourse the mistakes and tantrums are unacceptable but I want him to take his own shape..

Influences are everywhere  whether with friends, relatives or neighbours ; but influences should be welcomed according to you is most appropriate in your nature of things! The rights and wrongs of anything  are still undefined and much debated about. So listen to your heart and go with the flow!

I have experienced this that everyone suits to their own convenience stand by yourself and suit your requirements , this is how it goes in life,  because everyone is experiencing their own situations which are individualistic and too different.

Next time you feel shy, judgemental or opinionated please feel free to put your feet down and stand for yourself , you have seperate boundaries...liberties and likes , even if people around you don't agree to your taste give a damn and stand for yourself  even if you are standing alone ..cheers!

Agony of the sweet tooth

What I am going to write today is what alot of people will be suffering through- the agony of the sweet tooth...as everyone knows that diabities has really taken over a lot of humanity in its clutches making people incapable of producing enough insulin for rest of their lives.
Actually it is a hopeless scenario and until my blood picked up some traces of sugar I never realised the torture which a diabietic goes through! So when I found out about the traces and the fair chances of having it in future I became more concious and  started researching about this whole clumsy diet stuff...which restricts you for anything delicious in life:(
Suddenly I was counting  my carbs...proteins ..fat and all the other components of a specific food item..it was tiring as well as eye opening...all this while the sweet tooth was blamed for having this condition but unfortunately it can hppen to anyone with or without the sweet tooth..I want to admit that my weight have been always on the plumpier side, got a lot of suggestions , advices and bribes to get skinner but I loved my self the way I was, never worried about these nasty carbs etc..but the traces have really pushed me to read the calorie facts, to eat on time, to eat in portions, and above all eat healthy!
Phew...I crave for so many things, but have to keep control and check of what I eat...now I sympathize with all of them around me who have this situation and realise the agony of the taste buds ,sweet tooth.I remember my grandmother injecting insulin before meals , then as a kid it never seemed so hassling but now even to think about taking it is devastating!
  I know things will not get that worst still this impaired disease really takes away your freedom to eat! Currently I am very disheartened and feeling cheated by the work done by my pancreas, and definitely I am not going to give this organ of mine an appraisal this time , with a hope of working better in coming days, the feeling has not sunk in and  i hope it settles well with all the people too who are going through this agony! Last piece of advise for all the people who take it lightly..pls keep a track of your glucose levels and remove the myth that it happens to those who eat sugar!

Disheartening disparities

With this clean India movement taking the full throttle, I wish the same way it could clean the minds of the people and wipe away all the disparities away with it. A Nation full of disparities either in terms of wealth, education, standard of living its highly required to be be taken up as a challenge.
Poorer are getting poorer and richer are getting more richer! The disparity is really disheartening,  how will this disparity dissolve ? Let me make it very clear that  I am not talking about the beggers here...they have enough money for their daily lives (thanks to their begging) but the small vendors like the balloon seller....popcorn seller...roadside sellers who just sell small things for petty cash to earn their one time meal for the day is what upsets me.
Ultimately their aim of life is to have enough money for two time meal( its that difficult) and some will say here...that is that it all they have to think of is earning two meals a day! After reading this line again and again I realise that how much we crib in our already privileged lives, and the goals, the benchmarks and the portion of wealth ofcourse..but I still wonder about their thought process, their way of living ..it must be hard.
After having almost everything we desire we are so  much  wanting...but with no peace at heart and definitely no achievement also because our goals are undulating as we enter different phases in life. Yet I believe their life will be much at peace than ours , its a constant fearless life they live with nothing to loose, and anything which comes their way is heartly welcomed.
The way we talk about growing a plant every year on our birthdays to make the planet more greener, each one of us should start charity for any of the needy we see ..who try very hard to earn their livelihoods,  if not money the help with the education to their children or adopt a months ration for them.
Recently I encountered that a man donated his fridge and put it outside his house on the street ..to put all the not required extra food which we anyways throw and waste..for the needy ( I know a lot of us will second this as the other people who might not be that needy can take it and the help will not reach the real needy..but atleast its a start..start to something good and fruitful..imagine if every house starts doing it imagine how much food can be made available. .
Think with this angle also at times, it gives immense pleasure to make someone happy even happier than the promotion or raise you are expecting this year! Charity can wave off disparities to some extent, if any thing is required ...that is definitely the effort of making up to someone who needs it the most.

The hatrick year...my son is 3 today!

Years are flying and u are getting older by the day...it started with pampers , bottles and booties and reached to "I want to do it on my own" statement! You have grown so much that u hardly fit my arms...
Your every act has its own charm...whether it is opening fridge for taking out your favourite yogurt...or helping me with stacking the groceries...the way u dance and sing your heart out....your inclination to music....your love for reading books...your saying "mumma don't cry I love u" ....watching the ugliest of the shows on tv with me...wearing cap, goggles to any kind of outing (whether party or beach...lol), the way u are particular to wear a specific tshirt...or your deep affection to your night suits...the way u blabber hindi perfectly nowadays....and trick n woe me to download apps for your ipad...
You have truly engrossed my life and have given it a meaning, its just been three years and I dont remember any other reason for being that much happy earlier...
With you the sun is more brighter, moon is much calmer, stars are more shiner, life is much better, you complete us fully...sweetheart ! Continue with building up your charisma and bubble our lives like this till eternity.

The Firangi fantasy

I never understood what curiosity and interest we Indians have towards the firangis...
Recently i visited a wedding ceremony and by chance there were a few firangis dressed up in indian traditional attire....to my surprise the the firangs were watched more than the bride n groom themselves..
We always have this fascination towards the colour, towards our rituals being accepted by them. Generally they back home would be normal people but definitely treated specially here...
So the whole nazara or call it a scenario was like all the eyeballs were sticking out to them, whatever they were eating those stalls were full, wherever they were going the camera was shooting them.
In the whole situation I was wondering what big-a-deal is it? Why were they treated like some bollywood celebrity? Everyone needs recognition but when the the nation as a whole gets recognition the people go over the top to show their happiness and that pulls down the image of our country.
I pity on us sometimes. With such a rich cultured, deep rooted, vivid nation of ours which is full of talent and outstanding abilities , we still are star struck by someone so different. But its all natural we always awe for the things we dont experience. Experience enriches the mind but leaves the interest barren. The irony somehow is that the westeners now want to adapt hinduism, yoga, shastra and what not to become desi!
In addition to all said above , no offence, Indians staying out of India carry a false image of todays India and what it is capable of! Every nation has its own Ps and Qs , pros and cons; so what if in the prevailing times cons are more, but we are capable and worth of lot more pros. Till then we have to confide and  stick to our roots, we have lot more to pay off to our country than we think!

Tyrannical dentistry

Whenever I used to  cross the clinic of our family dentist I used to think that why they are not included in the normal league of doctors!  But after the recent hands on experience of one , I truly understand why they are treated seperate. This topic reminds me about the poem of robert frost where he termed the whole visit to the dentist as a vicious circle...indeed!
The tyranny of the the process and the after effects of the same are highly ferocious; the crux remains that whether you take a tooth out, or do a root canal to save it, or to fill up a cavity on the initial stage, believe me they are equally painful. I was glad that now that the wisdom tooth is out I will be at ease, but I think it was better inside buried under the bone.
From the part of the dentist I feel disgusting...looking in everyone's mouth first thing in the morning and last thing at the end of the day. Its a tedious and patient job though to fix them, regularise them as a part of orthodontics. Also a little can be done  with mouth that wide open staring at those set of teeth to be catered.
All in all a pain trotted, round and round journey of this vicious circle of dentistry. ..I hope one day it ends , and I resume my past role again without the agony:((

Mommy's heart out!

I wanted it. But when it came to me I realised what was i missing out or how much I desired of having it. The twinkling eyes,mushy nose,wrinkled skin and tiny hands; never knew that a baby brings that much of joy to your heart, its like purification of your soul and adding a meaning to your living.
They say of all the relations u have in this earthly dimension , you have an extra 9 month relationship with your mother. This sounded a little overrated before the self experience but  whoaa the experience of 9 months were definately worth it after seeing him for the first time.
The celebration starts with a baby's birth and is continued  every single day is a new day filled with different musings and explorations. The way the sun radiates and distributes energy and light everyday is the same with my sunshine my baby boy(although a toddler now).
Today on mothers day, nearing the third year of motherhood I am so charmed to be called as "Mumma" by my little one. A hug from him woes away the sorrows, a smile from him woes away all the anger. The innumerable questions he asks, the rhymes he sings, the useless demands he makes, the way he is particular for which clothes to wear, and all the naatak he does are so identical to being alive now.
As mothers we have got this opportunity to raise ourselves in form of our child, to live our childhood yet again! Its the most difficult yet most amazing and lovable task of all times. I want to dedicate this post to my son, for giving me an opportunity to be a mother and loving me unconditionally day in and out. If these kids would not have been around the word Mother would loose its sound. Happy mother' s day...

Yay! I m on blogadda...keep reading

Virtual Vanity

Do you remember , when was the last time we were human beings far away from our virtual projection(projection indeed). Virtual being is preferred for a number of reasons in my opinion:
Firstly, because we like living in the projection, somewhere,it is that ideal which we seek in ourselves day in and out.

Secondly, because it takes you far away from the daily tribulations into a world of our imagination and dreams.

Thirdly and importantly because of the ease of use (thanks to the Smartphone technology). Your friends and loved ones are with you invariably 24*7.

Have you ever kept a track of how many places you log in with your account, what events your account shares, what sites are using your email id e.t.c. We are so virtually exposed and engaged that we hardly realize to talk to people around, instead slot in with what’s app and FB. Recently Fb had come with “your life story” and people who are no-where near your zone are suddenly interested in that so called look Back.
I am sure that most of us have people in our friends list with whom we didn’t even speak once when they were around!  Gradually and  this virtual presence is now becoming so important and a must have for everyone. Instagram, twitter, pintrest, vingle are like social icons for the youngsters. Not even them even these but the celebrities, politicians, entreprenuers, and sportsperson too have made these a medium to connect with the mango people
Facebook is like a bulletin board, instagram a photo album, twitter an announcement platform ,pintrest like a craft manifestation, youtube like a tv channel. And now you read the above lines again without the apps name, you would be forced to think that until few years back those were the activities which served as ways to spend time with family and friends.
All this aside even the Indian passport department has proposed to release e-passports for the citizens of india from the next year..life is becoming so digitalised and far away from the real relationships.
Being in touch is always the good part of these social mediums but if that being in touch with far away people distants you with people around you, then technology has byfar taken the notch above relationships,  where eye to smartphone contact is much preferable than eye to eye contact. Balance the technology tactfully, rejoice both virtual and  actual presence of self, so that you don't regret the time lost in future.

Life being a 'Control freak'

I've had it, and I am so done with being a control freak. I feel like a jerk most of the times like making fool of myself with this ocd of mine. I have tried to go with the flow...in th moment  but am unknowingly back to the square one...me with my excruciating ocd.
By saying being a control freak don't misunderstand me with controlling people, its about self. A constant voice in the head demanding you to do a thing in a particular mannner, at particular time. Its like a tap on the head in few minutes or so for something or the another.
Like any basic day filled with so much of moral code, rules and a pattern to take care off!Often I am filled with utmost pride and a fewer times with frustration too..because it holds me tight at all times and there are no bounds of rescue..
I am so trapped thats its difficult to enjoy the nitty gritties; I have not known in my circle of friends anyone who is also a control freak...or they might be but atleast they r not visible and imposing on the people around.

I want a day without a routine, a day of utter nonsense like the state of being zero...being lazy..like a couch potato..without the nagging in the head about taking a hot shower...or say following the code...or cooking a proper meal...or staying organised and well placed.

For once I want the that voice out of me...not wanting me to behave ideally, there are so many to do lists which cannot start before this voice dips down! I want my sanity back to be myself for a while. 
Do you know anyone like me..if you do pls share how to tackle and reduce it with time.

Don't loose ,love fat!

Fat ...fat..fat ! The most important word round the world, someone wants to loose and someone wants to gain. An unwanted  higher prefrence is been given to it, and suprisingly whether you give 'your weight' much importance or not but other people do!
Besides the health problems, I don't see anything wrong in being fat. I am plump and I love it, does it change my mind or heart or the way I view things or the way I  do with my relationships??
Whats the fuss...why can't people let people be...everything in this world have different shapes and sizes then why not humans? So what if people petite have well formed molecules and perfect metabolism? Whether its xl..2xl..or 3 xl, noone wants to blow out of proportion but some metabolisms does it..! Its all nature if it would have been unnatural God would have made all the people of same shape.
Judgement and comments on basis of weight should be highly restricted, u know what the best dancers..cook..singers..even heroes come from this slot, try not giving such high equations to weight in your relationship..maybe you will loose out someone special or might hurt someone deeply!
Ok now tell me what is the problem if a person doent have vital statistics...uuuh I know actually she/he will not be a treat to watch! As if we care:(
By all this I dont mean to just become fat and not trying loosing my belly..but u dnt know whether why that person is fat and how much of an effort is being done by him/her to defeat the same, unfortunately our society looks up for everything idealistic...Ideal body..ideal features...ideal profession and a long list follows. No one can be perfect so enjoy being imperfect atleast.
This post of mine is just dedicated to all the people who have weight issues...pls enjoy yourselves because the time will fly and don't hook up on the discouragements and unwanted advices..be what you are love urselves! STAY FIT thats what is important and lastly eat well , eat right and don't starve your dear body!Love the fat m sure it will melt its way down;))

Karma- the ultimate reaper

They say Karma is a bitch ! It is the ultimate reaper of your worldly affairs, the balance sheet of your life with suspense account too!
The very popular phrase stand true in our lifetimes “what you sow is what you reap." I firmly believe that whatever u do here u r paid off here only in this life and there is nothing called heaven or hell..The concept of heaven and hell was created to control the mankind..so that the evil is stopped with the fear of final consequence...
We don't realize this often that we take things for granted, mistreat people in our life span not thinking that anything which goes around..comes around! We fear hell but not the relationship consequence, its so hard to see that people ditch karma for a handful of money or an ounce of ego.
Its frightening to stay testimony of so much on that happens on the name of Dharma and Karma..i feel an act of give away, or an act to make feel someone special does not exists anymore! With all that i m not stating that all people are bad, but a few spoils the whole lot!
Disheartment fills up my soul, when i see around me the physical agony of being handicapped...a bunch of little things brighten up there faces...and we with all that is there just crib for the mere belongings..
Karma is what you possess in mind,heart an soul! Its your lookout towards your contribution to people around, something which makes you think before you do a deed; its nothing but your conscience shouting loud ...listen to it often , it will resolve much of your sufferings..and don't forget its a small life to cherish, love, laugh, be good and eat well! So now on your karma should be the one ur conscience wants to be ..and in the end ; it does nt really matters ... u will be just remembered for your sweet little Karma:)

Where do we stop??

A scene
A person from a small village---"There is no scope in this village for my future i wanna go to the city to work"
Same person in the city----"There is not enough salary to work in the city i wanna go to a metro city"
In Mumbai----“phew! There is so much traffic ...pollution...fast paced life...how do i survive...its better to work in Dubai"
In dubai--- “Things aren't like India...nothing like back home...my village was the best place"

OMG where do we stop??? Did u get the whole idea of writing this story above...these kind of stories i often hear off..with people who just want to run away from the present situation and the place is a mere reason to back it...
Ask yourself where do we stop??? Lets skip the places...we do the same pattern with all the kind of choices we make in life!!!The core problem what it seems to me is the generation....we want all the things faster ..smarter...better...we can't wait...its a haste generation what they call..
Have u heard of any of our parents or older people talking about their nonstop future desires...probably they also talked about it in younger ages...but we are way ahead...life before was peaceful n less competitive...having a property..funds...car was rare luxury....
Now these things are everyday luxury ..with the technological , well marketed and over customized world has brought everything on a click...
Our generation doesn't value...coz we never had to do any efforts to get these...they were never beyond our limits and always were over in abundance...we should sit back n admire our possessions once coz only acquiring doesn't finishes the conquest....
There is no definition of enough.....how much is enough??? I want to save enough.....i want to put aside for my child enough....the point here is for whomsoever u r earning this enough for...is growing up(child) ...growing old ( u n ur spouse)....time is flying..
Take time off...set limits to your goals...set up a benchmark of ur satisfaction....and work towards it...running with blinkers to win a race will never take you where you want to go...and even if you win the race...the people you were running for would be  left way behind... Think!

Transcending trails...

There were lots of thing to prove n achieve..
A time when every dream of mine used to scream
All of that went away through a sling...
I now realize...i m fond of and  have kept aside alot of things
Hopes...dreams....and all my cravings are now being fulfilled by a quick crying...
Women hood teaches us a lot to hold up the family string...
From being a aspirant gal to a "mommy being"
With all the things said and done...one thing stands true...
Nothing can be replaced by the feeling of being a mom and all what it gives to u...
We wake with them...walk with them..talk with them...eat with them...sing with them even get sick with them....
The twinkle in his eye...the mis pronounced sweet blabber...the sly smile...all the tantrums and the crying session which does not end...
It makes u tired...mad...n frustrated too...
But nothing can be as special as experiencing it and being going thru...
The aspirations has new wings and a new fly to plan ..
To reach to destinations which all my mother hood can..
And what is left behind is an untold story of a gal which will be rewritten in another way....
The desires n achievements shape themselves along the line...
U take them with u and they stay by your side...
Live it the best coz the childhood of ur child can't be repeated but ur aspirations can abide...
Proving urself to the world is another story....
Whether u take a leap in ur career or ur household...
No one would ever agree to any theory...
So just be the way you like...submerged in your way of life...living it fullest with urself n ur offspring that's all will be imbibed for years to come in your memory

Tedious thinking...

Thoughts weave  web...n alas we r trapped...
I assume that the person with a dumb mind would be happier than a thinker...
The thinker society rich nowhere but to a  notion which generates confusion..
Thinking often indulges ur peace of mind and leaves u with no sense of the ongoing situation...
Although its rightly said that plan for the future but don't worry about it!