Of all the things i have done so far in the last 3 decades being SAHM (stay at home mommy) is the most toughest one (you know like round the clock mommy kinds)
I am sleepy..crancky...sometimes starved and my clothes are full of drool n smell like baby food. Inspite of the fact that i hate the time is flying and my both boys will soon be grownups , i loose it sometimes..on verge of my breaking point i remind myself not raise my voice (allthough i do shout afterthat) but that happens when your house becomes like the one on doomsday with toys, balls,cars and miniature superheroes lying scattered in the house in a way that daily life becomes a treasure hunt!
So basically everyday life teaches you so much with these kiddos around , specially with two and no househelp except cleaning(as if it stays that clean by the end of the day)..we are expats here and since i don't have a license i can hardly take the kids outside (although the weather outside is equally responsible for not steeping out) that means that we are looking at the same 4 walls 5 days a week which can be be really tiring and absolutely boring.
Sticking both my boys together takes my sanity and a whole day of blabbering no's and spilling instructions from my bag of rules and the in between good time while the brotherly love overflows i borrow my time for writing,thanks to the technology these days i really can't figure out yet that how the SAHM survived before smartphones and internet.
The days approaching are looking all the more difficult to me as my 10 month old is already walking pulling out drawers..utensils...spilling water..throwing balls..pulling my hair (literally too )its going to be a hrll of a task.Parenting teaches you so much every single day with every single child from reframing rules rephrasing dialogues making them more mannered or associating them with fear to do a certain thing (believe me thats the only way you can make them do certaim things),rescheduling your lunches..shopping..writing ...cooking (infact peeing too at times),rearranging the room...the lower shelves ,the last drawers,the toy boxes and every nitty gritty of your life.
Making deeper friendship bonds is equally difficult ,although i am a people's person still it seems impossible with this phase of life,with the husband travelling most of the time only coffee n my phone are left as my main rescuer in the given condition.
Hope the coming days keep me calm and sorted so i can ingest my boys with humblesness and creativity..i do miss my independence and sanity but that doesn't takes away from me the fact that how much i love spending time with my boys and...being a round the clock MOM!
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Of all the things i have done so far in the last 3 decades being SAHM (stay at home mommy) is the most toughest one (you know like round the clock mommy kinds)
Monday, October 12, 2015
Have you ever noticed that there are some people we just get attached to in a brief conversation and then there are some with whom we take years to connect...and then there are times where we misjudge the friendships! We really do, misconception about a person hinders our attraction or fondness towards that person and instead of choosing the right one,we just choose the limelight one and then that kind of friendship doesnt lasts long.
Ever wondered how in a short span of time the frequency matches. It feels as if you have known the person for years or like your words are filled in their mouth ( I mean she is just like me )sometimes the likemindedness, similar experiences, similar situations or similar choices connects you to the other person's stigma.
I am totally a people's person and i believe strongest bond relationships in everyday life, imprinting a mark is the best thing can be done in one's life
Without a companion life goes rough but without a likeminded person it just goes wasted.
Met someone recently or years ago with the conversation which ignites a spark in your mind leaving you with the joy of talking onl!y that is the one who will carry your loads off and will bring out the best in you..don't evwr let them go off your radar and treasure them for life.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Sitting in my living room besides my favourite window with a cup of coffee and a dusty day (part of being in a middle east country)not much minutes have passed since i put down my infant to sleep and sent the elder one to school..its the best time to buy for myself..it is a golden period of silence and melancholy, apparently the only time when my brain works!
Pondering about how the life's trending...how crazy we have become and what mad house are we raising...questioning my own parenting style...n anxious about the time which is flying so fast...so much to teach and imbibe...n they are growing too fast.
So much to do with the kids that a day seems less although the moms of our generation no longer are dedicated, devoted and sacrificing like the previous generation moms. Icing on cake is the multiple gadgetry available to keep us all the more restless n pointblank thus giving a setback to the parenting style. I think thats why the babies also are packed in the womb with the same swiping and touch style,they respond so quickly. Anyways the constant question of being a good parent or coping up with the round of advices all over the place is tedious.
I have come across a lot of parenting articles where they give you the whole gyan of how to do and what not to do,when i was having my first one i was swearing by each one of those but now with my second one i have reached to a point where i want keep it really simple and instinctive..
Their are many new parents like us out there who feel miserable not being able to follow the so called ways...to soothe...to put them to bed...to make them burp...to potty train...to wean off and what not. So try this out next time you feel miserable...be simple and go by your instincts. You know your baby the best from day one...not all babies are same and the standardization is troubling!
Wean when you feel assured by the outside nutrition not when people tell you to,potty train when the child is ready not when you are pressurised to teach...let them take the bottle till they dont learn to sip..just go with the flow and let the baby be a baby!
Your baby tells you everything its just how do you decipher the indication.Keep a schedule,keep them close to your taste (food),keep them warm,trust your instincts and when in doubts choose your children rest everything can be chosen later. Stay in tune with those articles too but don't swear by them...don't forget its not science just the affection keeps it good and going.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Why to regret
For the things which you never got to hold
They were things of past which you desired
But they didn't mean to fill your empty mould..
Sometimes we find something or someone which matches our needs..
Nonetheless all glitters are not gold!!
Spend your time wisely with your fantasies
They were never yours and they can never be
The cravings have an unprecedent nature
The more you yearn the more you are bowled
Forgiveness is a rare phenomenon which very a few practice
With a grudge held hard at the heart
They drag it too far increasing manifold..
Regrets hold no past and future tense but only present is what it knows
That too with the irony of holding the most memorable moments and a story untold
Its passes away with the matter of time
The desire looses it taint n flutters away becoming old
Carry as less burden of regrets as you can in life
It overshadows the best of you and the 100 percent which you could behold
Experience, smile, move on...as change is the only constant
Mold with the situation,grow with time, flex with the surroundings for a stronger foothold.
Friday, June 26, 2015
With a room full of so called society or people how often can we be ourselves...our real selves and not what the people around us want us to be..? Always worrying about our image potrayal..our should be's...our right ways...our deceptive good manners !
This society being judgemental finishes the game before it even starts, the rules of this game is simple- it says to suffer to keep the other people happy. If you follow this by ignoring your ownself you will be epic and unbeatable.
Okay! I agree we need people around to survive being a social animal but not on the cost of our own inconvinience... we need company to cherish, celebrate, compassion and comprehend and not for pleasing some people who don't even bother about you.Anyways what standards are we talking about and who is there to test it; everyone has flaws and hence the fake and fancy outer shield becomes important.
Society is made by group of individuals who are like us, we are the one who are deciding the ways of life and list of acceptables of unacceptables. God didn't gave us our manual book along because none of us are same ....neither we are machines, we are just people with our respective genres, when we can't judge colours as to why they are light or deep, when we can't judge trees to be green and water to be blue how can we judge different people onto some humanly created standards, rituals, superstitions. We have accepted all the things around us in the nature as they are because we know we cannot do anything about it..its the way the nature naturally is! Then why not people? Why not accept them as they are?
Our society has meagred to an extent of competition thanks to our humanly created categories of brands and non brands! The base of which is so undulating and vague because what is best in ones eyes need not be best in another one. I fail to understand this whole criterion where anyone who is being himself is ripped apart on the verge of society's acceptance.
Life is given as a one time lottery ticket to encash and enjoy. If we start living every moment without slogging ourselves to please people around we will surely make memories rather than just walking through life. It will indeed create some misunderstanding in the beginning but gradually people will accept you as you are .
Live and let live
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Maa tere bina kuch nahi achcha lagta yaha..
Na tere haathon ke garam fulke hai na aanchal ki thandi chaaon hai yaha..
Na teri daant ki bouchaar hai na hi pyaar bhari baahein hai yaha..
Yaad aatein hai woh bachpan ke din jab beparwah tha mera jahan
Na thi koi chinta..na hi koi bandish kyunki tum thi na maa waha...
Jo tumne di woh har ek seekh ka matlab aaj hai samajh aaya yaha..
Woh school se aaker bag phekna...woh har ek baat per tumse behas karna...woh naatak jo sirf tum hi jhel paati thi maa..
Bachpan se meri har choti cheez ko tumne hai sanjhoya... Chahe rona ho, chaahe zidd puri karani ho..chahe daddy ko manana ho...tum hi thi meri jaadu ki chadi waha..
Jab khud maa bana to jana ki kitna sangarsh kara hai har pal tumne maa...woh har ek raat jo tum ho jagi aur jo har woh din jab meine tumhe sataya par tumne kuch na kahaa..
Aaj bhi jab bhi hota hai kuch naya banana..ya hota hai dil ka bhoj utaarana...ya hoti hai koi salah ki zarurat, tum hi dikhai deti ho har jagaah..
Tumse hi hoti hai har ek ichcha puri aaj bhi...aur tum hi ho prerna meri zindagi ki..Kitna bhi shukriya karu tumhe woh kam hai...tumse achcha koi nahi aur mujhe garv hai ki tum ho MERI MAA...
Monday, April 20, 2015
Do you overdo things?
Stop...its 'the'word I want to learn. Not a single days go by when I don't push my limit and when I m not overdoing things. I want to stop and that to soon the things are going out of my hands and this overdoing is driving me crazy (crazier than I thought)
Having a partial OCD specially of cleanliness and arrangement of things with my 2 kids is like the cherry on the top so to say stop to myself in certain situations is dreadful therefore the overdoing follows! Phew!
So after summing up the conclusions of all my experiences of out and out overdoings I have made my list of stops (hope some of them helps you too)
1. Stop saying yes when you really don't want to- follow your mood and instinct
2. Stop agreeing to a particular thing if it is not on your priority list-You don't have to agree to everything and anything.
3. Stop pushing your limits and testing your body's endurance- relax
4. Stop reviewing your decisions-They are perfect according to the time and situation you take them in
5. Stop thinking about the past and worrying about the future.
6. Stop pleasing the one who is not even close to important in your life-suit your convenience , everyone does that only
7. Stop over cleaning-just leave it noone is coming to assess and award you for the spic n span home.
8. Stop over friendliness- oh boy it just gives pain to your ownself because for the other person you just exist as an aquantaince.
9. Stop being your best-it just ruins the moment all the more! Be carefree and cool.
10. Stop entertaining nonsense- in any form whether talks, parties or pokes , you can't please everyone.
11. Stop being a perfectionist , however much you try you can't be (specially me with 2 kids)
12. Stop judging your self from the eyes of others - they themselves are doing the same for themselves.
13. Stop being guilty - whether about a day which din't go as planned, the mood swings, not being a good parent, not been able to concentrate or the feeling of being lost, not being able to workout...its just a phase and it happens with everyone.
Sometimes the art of saying no works but you have to master it to practice it . I am an amateur at this art, hence overdoing comes along, This overdoing hinders the personal growth, nature, relationships and unfortunately memories too.Having said that I really will try to inculcate the above to relax myself and make the most of my life making memories and having real fun😊.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Have you ever found your desired things in unexpected places ?
Have you ever came across something you were looking for, for a long time at times when you left the hope of even having it?
Have you strongly commited to someone when you thought you are not ready at all?
Have you really got connected with someone you thought was unapproachable?
Have you found someone totally opposite to what you perceived them to be?
Have you recieved right things at wrong places?
I call these tiny miracles they happen to us everyday and specially at unexpected times to cheer us up and to keep up our hopes intact...making our days more worthy. Any time such a thing happens with me I become more positive towards my life , and it also signifies that life is good inspite of all that stress around.
The good part is that we don't have to wait for them they just flow through the day with various events sometimes in daily chores when you put some spice by mistake but it gives you a different tasty flavour you never expected to taste..other times when by chance you find a long lost friend in another friend's list...or at times when you are really feeling lonely wanting someone by your side and a friend stops by to say hello!
Althought we hear this everyday but these tiny bits of miracles strongly indicates that expectations when kept low can do the trick to keep away from all the misery. Next time you experience any of these take it as a stepping stone stop looking for things and start keeping your expectations low...then the real miracle will happen to you ....THE UNEXPECTED! which will change your way of looking at life and suddenly everything will give you joy and happiness.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Ok ok...I dnt recieve calls...I dont make calls...I m totally lost with my thoughts and uttetly forgetful because I am a new MOM! And its like becoming a first time Mumma all over again with bag full of tantrums and arms full of hugs.
The stork visited and gifted us our new bundle of joy...a baby boy! We waited for him for all 9 months..eagerly to cuddle and hug him for hours together..
Although my first born is 3.5 years old so the experience was not that old still this was like the first time ever again....its true you think since you have dealt with it ...its going to be much easier but every child is different and so is happening with us...
The nights seem longer and the days busier, we knew its not going to be easy and were fueled about the same from all the people around..and it is tough and everyday is a new day with so much learning...to make the elder one comfortable and compatible with the baby...struggling with my own body..at the same time looking around the household chores and playing with my attention seeking preschooler!The most amusing thing being a mother is the fact that when I want to sleep the most my boys want to play the most...when I am free to play with them like while writing this now they are fast asleep....when I want to eat then only they remember their potty business...when I am very busy they seek my attention the most...as soon as I step in my shower one of them cries for no reason...when I am expecting to behave their best is where they test my patience...
Believe me its more than a handful and overwhelming , still worth it, worth the experience of watching them grow day by day...life is not personal anymore neither are the hobbies more engaging..so much to look forward to in a day that your stuff gets a setback. By the word your stuff I mean that that stuff can wait, and a lot of other things cannot .
Life has a new address...a new direction...a new challenge and there is so much to learn in this thankless stay at home mom's job. I am doing it for myself and these kiddos of mine...they say that early 5 years of child's life is very crucial and fudamental for their brain's architecture , it directly impacts their personal and social behaviour...so I m trying to put whatever I have in me to shape them..
The warmth, the gurgles, the smile, the cuddles are totally worth it although both of them are giving me a heck of a time...but at the end of it everything is upto my heart's content...Absolutely thrilled and loving this first hand second experience of mine.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Know me or don't, respect my space...
However much you care about me...there are some decisions which only I can make..
There are times I want to cry...let me cry..it might soothe my pain
There are times I want to hibernate...let me be ...it might sort my mind..
There are times I want to to go on a shopping spree...let me do the retail therapy. ..it might bring a smile on my face..
There are times I want to be crazy...let me have the moment of madness...it might bring me nearer to the child in my heart..
There are times when I want to be quiet...let me zip up...it might put on peace to my inner ghosts..
There are times I want to write...let me pen down...it might help to regain myself...
There are times I want to make a point ...let me make one...it might rest my wandering mind...
There are times I want to runaway...let me walk a mile....it might stop an ongoing arguement...
There are times I want to talk to you..let me talk...it might end my deepest fears.
There are times I want to fight...let me quarrel...it might put an end to my dispair..
There are times I want to watch the stars on the beach...let me catch a glimpse of them...it might relieve me from a stressful day...
There are times I want to just be with you ...be with me...it might make my day...
There are times I don't want to be judged..spare me...it might change my point of view for you...
There are times I want to be in the past...let me recall....it might remind me what I actually am...
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Disclaimer: Only for the unwanted advisors in my life
Ok...so however much you ignore , you are ought to recieve an advice from someone or the other on something or the other..I am not saying advices are not good, they are fairly good and sometimes a headturner too, I look forward to it being the youngest in my family but I would love to get it from people I know, or from people I ask for it!
The best free gift anyone on this earth can give you are the "ADVICES" ( I am so done with this word). The most annoying part is I have got advices from almost all sorts of people even from strangers ....from my house help lady...from people I don't know in the lift...from the people I have not seen before on the road..from the distant relatives I had never ever met....from a friend who never keeps in touch with my life exactly ( technically not a friend anymore) ...I am sure most of us face this problem of unwilling diving in this ocean of unwanted advices..
Do you think the kind of people giving away the advices mentioned above really ( I mean really) give you a worthwhile chunk of information... without the knowledge of the background, lifestyle, my way of living, or for that matter what kind of a person I actually am!
The irony is there are times you just want people around you ( dearr ones) to listen...to absorb your emotions without being judgemental and giving away the advices. ..just a "lISTENER". The issue might be silly or i might i have a solution all ready for it, but i just want to pour it out my heart and mind..I m expecting a positive vibe and that it to it.But alas...
OK! Taken you must have crossroads with a similar situation and you kind of have a hold on it, but I am a different person with different opinions , how can I use the same strategy to overcome the same situation being altogether a different person...and frankly even you will not do the same strategy again if it came on you....simply because of the reason that you learn everytime with every experience, and keep the pointers ready to avoid if they come next time...
Noone can expect anyone to behave the same as they did in their time of crisis..ya guidance is definitely seeked and thats how advices come into the picture..Now you would say its on you how you take that advice whether you want to keep or chuck it away, but words have such an impression that even if we want to chuck it away our extra sensitive mind keeps it in some corner stored as an information which always diverts us in a negative horizon...
Advices are welcomed but from the people who know me from in and out rest however much you claim to know me I am changing everyday , I am not the person Iike I was even the last year. Finally at the end i firmly believe that one has to walk in one's own shoes with their own feet gathering one's own strength after determining their own destiny in their own circumstances!